“…so much potential…â€
I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe they were already using that line on me.
“…Didn’t your parents teach you better than this?†I froze, glaring. “Camden?†I hated it when adults used my name like they knew me. Continue reading “[Day 158] Camden (Is a Girl)”
It’s often hard for me to calm myself down. When I get particularly upset or OCD about something, then I hyperventilate or have panic attacks, and it’s difficult to come back down to earth.
But today I realized that certain distractions are paramount to my mental health. My new favorite? Outlining the plot to Ash, that ridiculous novel I wrote in 7th grade. It distracts me nice and good, and makes me giggle. Win-win, eh?
5 minutes, 10% incline, 2 mph
5 minutes, 2% incline, 3 mph
5 minutes, 1% incline, 2 mph
Repeat.
It doesn’t sound like much, but hopefully, it will be enough to lull me to sleep. And hopefully, it will be enough to keep me doing it more often. Because I don’t want to look like this anymore.
Go me for actually following through. Take THAT, internal critic.
I had scheduled so many blogs that I FORGOT that I had to blog today. Oops.
I was about to shut off my computer and then I was like NO. BLOG. CRAP.
That is exactly my thought process.
Anyways.
I don’t feel like doing the regularly scheduled thing today.
Instead of telling you a story from my past, I’m going to tell you a story from my present.
I slept through the night for the past two days. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but TRUST ME. This is big.
I have not slept through the night for more than one night at a time every few weeks in like… a year. I don’t know when it started, but I know it has been a frickin while.
So here’s to hoping I sleep tonight, too!
(Unlikely. I’m jinxing it with this blog and I have a ton of crap to do tomorrow morning because I’m a procrastinating insomniac that cannot focus.)
(None of this makes sense. I’ve been watching too much LiveLavaLive. Blah)
(Goodnight.)
Dear Rebecca,
Hey there. Remember me? Probably not. We were best friends in first grade. Kind of. Continue reading “[Day 154] I’ll make sure no one takes it”
The Nose looks up from her desk, where she had spent the last half hour bent over a ScanTron test. There is a sudden intense ringing in her ears, that both sounded and felt like tiny needles. The psychology classroom seems to bend and twist in front of her, as if reality was being wrinkled and torn. She pulls the military-grade handgun from the hidden holster, but is knocked backwards into a wall. Continue reading “[Day 151] Not the same kid”
Wednesdays, I’ve decided, are going to alternate between “try something new” and “whatever I feel like posting that I don’t have any other opportunity to post”. Today, you get a list of animals and the names I would give them. Continue reading “[Day 150] Out of Town”
Today was my last therapy session. Hopefully, forever, but who knows. I feel like I’ve had enough mental breakdowns for a lifetime, but my emotional stability will be questionable for as long as I live. Continue reading “[Day 149] Done, like yesterday is done.”