The silver cross necklace is hanging out from his Aero postale teeshirt, and the gelled hair stands up at a meant-to-be-effortless angle. The deep, enthusiastic voice penetrates all conversations in the area, and he stands with his hands on his hips in a confident manner. This is not the boy I remember.
The day after freshman year ended, May 25, after a four hour phone call, Cody asked me out. And it wasn’t until June 11 of the following year that I realized I’d made a mistake.
Cody and I were best friends in 7th grade, and I still considered him as such during freshman year. Of course, by then, we’d gotten other ideas. It’s hard to adolescent cross-gender friends to remain like that… friends. The pressure closes in like there’s no time; find your future spouse NOW.
Since they get alone so well, why can’t best friends fall in love too? Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Sometimes, friends should just stay friends.
Cody and I have had a strained at best relationship since, and I regret this every day. The awkward conversations that have come to be the norm don’t do our past friendship justice, not even at the smallest increment.
Cody taught me how to cheer someone up, how to listen, how to deal, how to sort through the confusing nature of high school, how to open up my heart to new possibilities, and how to sucessfully break someone else’s heart. And even though we’re too distant for any significant impact, Cody has taught me one more thing.
How letting go doesn’t happen the same way for everyone.
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