Category: 365 Days of Bri (Bri 2.0)

Sorry this is so long… couldn’t be helped, though.

As I sit here at eight in the morning, dressed in regular clothes flanked by kids in suits, I can’t help but be a little upset. I lost every LD round yesterday, after having been undfeated. It’s a definite blow to the ego.

But I can’t bring myself to be truly upset, because I’m going to nationals, and I’ve made so many friends through this activity that I would have never known otherwise.

Speech and debate has given me confidence, political intelligence, and something to do on the weekends. It’s the thing that keeps me going during the school week, because I know, come weekend, I can get all of my frustration out on some poor competitor who may or may not stand a chance.

New video tomorrow, because I don’t want to get behind again.

Two days ago, I went to Old Navy to get some undershirts for debate. I ended up finding a new pair of flats and a really pretty skirt, but that’s inconsequential.

As the three of you reading my blog know, many of my current self-esteem issues stemmed from a particular boy, Zach. Zach tortured me from 2nd-7th grade, and I have never forgiven him.

Now, Zach works at Old Navy, and I often see him there. Most of the time, I grimace and avoid him, because lets face it, I’m a long term grudge holder. But this time, I realized something. I’m not that same ten year old kid who would get upset when someone called me fat, and he’s not the same ten year old kid who called me fat.

The thing I’ve been trying not to realize for a while now is that we’re all growing up. All the people who have hurt me have moved on, while I’m still stuck in the mentality that people don’t change. But the thing is, they do.

Zach may still be obnoxious, but he’s not actively taunting me anymore, and I need to give him credit for that. We don’t have to be best friends, or even friends at all, but I owe the amount of time that’s passed to him. A smile never hurt anyone, and like Matt said in a comment a while back, “No matter how much you have been hurt, you are the key to redeeming, renewing, and reviving other people just as they can renew, redeem, and revive you.”

I can’t control other people, but I can control me. And holding childhood grudges only serves to hold me back from maturing and moving on with my life.

Again, I have caught up. I’d like to thank Borders for allowing me to sip their lovely coffee and take up an entire table to get my creative juices flowing, bra shopping and debate for giving me inspiration for some lengthy, meaningful blogs after a drought of several weeks, and my iPhone for organizing all my thoughts. Continue reading “[Day 205] Housekeeping (Eugenia, updates, just stuff)” →

“NO!”

“Brianna, please, just try it on.” Continue reading “[Day 204] Cups” →

This weekend was the national qualifying events tournament. Now, if you remember back a few weeks, I have already qualified for nationals in congress. This means a couple things in relation to THIS weekend. Continue reading “[Day 203] On Giving Up” →