Today’s blog comes to you in TWO PARTS! Part one: keeping in touch. Part two: It’s not too late to apologiiiiiize. (STOLEN FROM THE VLOGBROTHERS! And congrats John on the baby!) Aaaaand… BEGIN.
Part one: Keeping in touch.
Only two of my good friends have moved away since I started making friends, which is lucky and also unlucky. See, I’m terrible at keeping in touch. I want to stay in touch and I enjoy talking to these people, but for some reason I never get around to it. It gets to the point that I barely even know them anymore, and that’s sad, because I know how close we would have been had they remained living here in this pitiful, boring town.
But today, I vowed to change that. So during my nearly hour-long wait at the allergist’s office, I texted my friend Brittany. I haven’t seen Brittany since my sophomore year in high school… almost two years ago. And since she’s moved, we’ve talked maybe ten times. Pathetic, I know. And she’s usually the one to initiate it on Facebook.
It was really nice to talk to her again, even though we don’t have much in common past a shared love of our paperclip children, complaining, and random spurts of, well, randomness. I’ve been missing out on so many great long-distance friendships. Geez.
Part two: It’s not too late to apologize.
Ever since the beginning of senior year, I’ve been stressed out and angry. It’s a constant cycle of frustration growls, hand-to-head thunking, crying fits, panic attacks, screaming in dark cars, and bursts of random rage. There’s also an undercurrent of exhaustion throughout the whole cycle, for added FUN.
But I’m getting away with myself. Point is, I haven’t been a very nice person, and this has especially hurt my relationship with my brother. I know he looks up to me, and I know he likes it when we hang out (truth be told, so do I sometimes), but I haven’t been in the humor to entertain these things that I know. So instead of talking, I yell. Instead of laughing, I yell louder. Instead of camaraderie, there is silence.
Today, I was driving him to the dentist and myself to the allergist, and we ended up running errands all over town and being in the car together for a while. I was in a particularly bad mood for no real reason, so there was some tension. It sucked, because I knew I was being a bitch (sorry). But I was. I just didn’t know how to stop.
So I stopped thinking about it and just apologized. I explained it was a stressful year and how I’m growing to hate this town more and more with each passing day. And I don’t give this boy enough credit, but he understood. Our heart to heart probably isn’t going to change the way I act, seeing as we are siblings and I am kind of a mean person anyways, but it’s definitely going to give him perspective and me something to pay more attention to.
Goodnight.
