Well, I can’t exactly say I didn’t see this coming. Because I did. I always do. Even though I don’t like to admit it.
Relationships and I have also always been wrought with… shall we say… drama. I’m not the easiest person to get along with, and my control freakishness certainly does not stack the odds in my favor. Every relationship I’ve ever had has either deteriorated before it began or I have ended it. (Sean doesn’t count. That was no relationship. That was a stupid summer fling that I think we both needed to get a little rebellion and passion out of our systems. Gosh, that took long enough to get out.)
And because of the recent events regarding the stability, or lack thereof, of my parents’ marriage, my already cynical look on relationships has been further twisted. If anything, I have actually become more cynical.
But then things happen like I get asked to prom after having my wisdom teeth removed, or I get asked to the movies by a guy I’ve only really known for about a month and end up having a really great time.
And then things happen like you get a whole blog post dedicated to you that references a Series of Unfortunate Events, Owl City, and Twilight. “You’re beautiful, smart, funny…”
Now what? I’m not entirely sure. It would be a lie to say that I’m devoid of any romantic inclinations regarding you, but it would also be a lie to say that I know what to do next. I don’t, but then again, who would?
I’m sorry this can’t be the reply you want (or deserve). I’m not emotionally stable enough to give you an answer one way or the other. But I can say this: I’m open to what happens next. Let’s see where this goes, because what do we have to lose? A friendship grounded in the writings of Stephanie Meyer and Lincoln Douglas debate can’t be broken by attempts towards something more.
But before anything happens, I want something to be clear. I’m leaving for college in August, and no matter what happens, I will be starting my freshman year with no strings attached. I’m sorry, but I’ve tried long distance relationships and they don’t work. It’s not fair to either one of us. It kind of sucks to have to prelude a potential relationship with something like that, but I wanted it said straight out.
Now it’s your move. I hope this reply was at least sort of useful to you. : )
And for the record, jumping up and slapping you would have been the last thing on my mind.
