[Day 50] End Quote

Ah, sleep. It’s a wonderful thing, but unfortunately it is something that I rarely get to enjoy- or experience at all, in fact. So when the opportunity presents itself to me to get more sleep, I jump at it. Today was one such day. The sophomores had to take a PLAN test, a practice ACT, and so all morning classes were replaced with some sort of ju-jitsu presentation or something. I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t care. All I knew was that I was gonna sleep in for an extra four hours.

As I sat at home this morning, about a half an hour before I left for school, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was mentally planning what to wear, but was too lazy to stand up and put it on. So I just sat there, looking at myself. There was some acne that decided to party it up around the corners of my mouth and around my chin area. That’s always fun. My cheeks were particularly splotchy from being cold, and my hair was flat and uninspired. I was still wearing glasses, and decided to continue wearing them because I was, again, too lazy to walk to the bathroom and pop in my contacts. Do we see a pattern emerging? I think so.

I hadn’t yet put on my makeup, and I considered this as I stared into my dull, sleepy eyes. A bit of foundation, concealer, and powder would cover those zits right up, and my eyes wouldn’t look so small if I lined them with a bit of eyeliner and highlighted them with colorful eyeshadow. I could see my makeup pile from where I sat, but I didn’t move to grab it. I just sat there. But this time, it wasn’t out of laziness.

Why did I feel the need to wear makeup? Who was I trying to impress? I’d already expressed, at the beginning of the year, that I wasn’t interested in a relationship. I’m leaving the state to go to college next year; a relationship just isn’t a viable or responsible choice for me at this point in my life. So if I didn’t need to impress boys, why doll myself up every morning? It wastes ten to twenty minutes every morning. I don’t care what other girls think of me, and I know all of my teachers are too dulled by the public education system to even notice their students past their assignments anymore. So why bother?

I pulled on my favorite jeans, my new favorite shirt, and my black converse and walked out the door. And the best part? No one noticed. There wasn’t one comment about how haggard I looked (because in my mind I did look it), and the only person who I mentioned it to just scrutinized my face and said “I hate you.” Of course, she was probably just doing this to be nice about my blotchy, acne ridden face, but it was nice to hear all the same.

Lesson learned; I have to stop taking myself so seriously.