If you’re familiar with Brotherhood 2.0, then you’ll get the reference in the title. But if you don’t, it’s ok. Anyways. Even if you don’t know me, finding my blog would clue you in on two things; I’m a narcissist and I’m a technology junkie. Let’s focus on the latter, however. My life is consumed with “textual” communication, through text messages, emails, and Facebook messages, so today I wanted to get away from all of that.
It wasn’t going to be easy, but I knew I had to do it. Get away from constantly checking my phone to see if the person who claimed he would call me three days ago had. Get away from obsessively checking Facebook to see if an old friend who hasn’t spoken to me in over a year who recently accepted my friend request had messaged me, or ‘liked’ my latest status update, or posted anything at all. Get away from stalking other people in their lives instead of living my own. I’ve let myself ignore real life because I don’t want to feel.
Within the first hour of not checking Facebook, text messages, or Twitter, I literally felt sick to my stomach. But what if he texts? What if HE posted something about me? What if I’m missing out, and today was the worst day possible to stay away from technology??? But I pushed through, ignoring the pangs and the mounting headache.
But by the second and third hours, my head cleared. I wrote over 800 words in my novel after finishing all of my psychology notes for the entirety of the four day weekend. I discovered how self conscious I was about how I blew my nose. I was congratulated by my teacher in gov about my contributions to the seminar. I finished everything I could for my psychology project and then helped both my other group members with their parts. I filled in a questionnaire in order to help my counselor write me a college recommendation. I went to Write A Book In A Year club and thought only about writing. I did so much, and I was so busy that I didn’t have time to be miserable or obsessive. It was a beautiful vacation from reality.
But as school came to an end and reality bore down on me, I felt the weight of not knowing what was going on. I was terrified that I’d missed something. I dwelled on the fact that someone hadn’t called but had been posting happy status updates on Facebook. Without even opening my laptop, I was back in the spiral of being much too connected. And that scared me.
I need to take breaks from technology much more often.
