Eugenia part 33

Read part 32 here!

After all I’d been through, it was still surprising to me that the next two weeks were the most stressful I’d ever lived through. First, I had to explain to not only Julie, but the five year old sister I’d kidnapped, that I was leaving for an indeterminate amount of time.

“Why can’t I go? I have just as much reason to want to find-” Julie argued.

“Because three people, two of them Outliers, is already too dangerous. More people would be unnecessary liabilities. And we’re not made of money, Julie. Feeding three people out of Decklan’s poor college student pockets and Luke’s sleight of hand is already pushing it.”

“But-”

“Don’t. Luke didn’t even want Decklan to come. You’re staying here with Andy, Jon, and Emma.”

Julie muttered something under her breath about stowaways.

“Julie.” I took her small shoulders. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t… ideal. I want you guys with me. But you and Emma need to stick together, and I can’t bring you along this time.”

My adopted sibling’s lower lip quivered, but she held it together.

The next item on my agenda was packing and finalizing our travel plans. I didn’t have many possessions, but we were going to try and minimize contact with society, just in case we were being tracked, so we needed to stock up on water bottles and nonperishables. Obviously, it would look highly suspicious if the three legal residents of the apartment starting buying water bottles in bulk, and with one unemployed and two in college, they wouldn’t have been able to afford it anyways.

To remedy this situation, theft was our only option left. Luke, the only member of our motley crew who didn’t have either a standing in society or a target on his back, was our supplier. Every morning he’d go out to a different grocery store, starting with the one farthest away, and shove water bottles and granola bars into wherever he could fit them. Usually Jon would give him a couple bucks to buy something legally so it wouldn’t be outrageously suspicious, but I knew it was pure luck that he hadn’t been caught yet. I had a small anxiety attack whenever he was gone for over two hours.

Finally, I had to deal with the escalating tension between my two traveling companions. It hadn’t gotten to anything out loud yet, but I had a feeling it was coming.

When Luke wasn’t out stealing something, he was at the apartment with me finalizing our itinerary. Decklan usually got home around five, and I started to notice how Luke would casually wrap an arm around the chair I was sitting in right before Decklan’s arrival.

This seemed to strike a chord with Decklan, who retaliated by finding little ways to touch or kiss me while Luke was in sight. Sometimes it was just a light palm on the small of my back, but when Luke had done something particularly over the top, Decklan would stroke my hair or kiss me on the temple.

Although I couldn’t help but be flattered by the attraction of two men, it didn’t take long for the situation to get under my skin.

“Enough.” I finally snapped about five days before we were going to leave. Luke had given me an enthusiastic- and entirely unnecessary- hug after we had plotted the last point on our itinerary, to which Decklan had responded by leaning over me, one large hand on my shoulder, looking at the map in front of him.

The men both looked at me innocently.

“Seriously. Stop. Luke, I am with Decklan, so stop antagonizing him. Decklan, I’m with you, so stop being insecure. You guys are driving me insane. We have potentially an entire month that we’re going to be cramped into one car together. Either you two work something out or I’m stealing the car tonight and leaving without you.”

Luke sighed melodramatically. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long since I’ve been able to talk to a woman who wasn’t several years older than me and out of her mind.” He was referring to Suri, obviously, and while I didn’t agree that she was out of her mind, she wasn’t particularly easy to get on with.

Decklan growled. “I have nothing to apologize for.”

I sighed but let it slide. If I wanted my sanity to survive the next few weeks, I needed to elarn to pick my battles.

Emma was surprisingly silent during the hectic two weeks. She clung to my leg more often than usual, but that was the only foreseeable difference. However, the night before we were scheduled to leave, she nudged me under the blankets. I was in my usual position, squeezed between the two younger girls.

“What is it? Are you thirsty?” That was most often the excuse Emma had for waking me up. She drank water like a horse in the desert.

“No.”

I waited for her to continue, but I got nothing. “What is it, Emma?”

“Do you have to go?”

“Yes. It’s the only way for things to get better.”

“Better how?”

“Well, if what we’re doing works out, then you can go home and never have to do flashcards again. And we won’t have to hide anymore”

“I don’t mind hiding. I don’t have to go back.”

I sighed. “Emma, eventually, yes, you do. I can’t raise you. I wouldn’t know the first thing about raising you.”

“But I like you better than mom and dad.”

“That’s just because they’re worried about the test. They’re worried that what happened to me will happen to you. It’s just because they love you.”

Emma was silent for a full minute. I watched her small silhouette in the darkness as she pondered this. “Meg? Why can’t you raise me here?”

“Because this isn’t our house. This is Decklan and Jon and Andy’s house, and we’re just taking up space. And because I’m supposed to be your sister, not your mom.”

“But you’re a better mom. You teach me real things and let me play piano as much as I want.”

“You say that now, but Emma, you have to start going to school again. And sooner or later, you’ll realize I’m just not cut out for this.”

“For what?”

“For… all of it!”

“All of what?”

This whole situation. I shouldn’t be on the run from the law. I shouldn’t be a step away from death all the time. I should be in college with my mom calling me every few hours asking about my nutrition and my dad only getting on the phone when I got a bad grade. But I couldn’t say any of that to Emma. Even her uncanny ability to understand the complex situation she’d been thrown into wasn’t enough. I wanted her to be a kid longer than I got to be. So instead, I said “for being a mom. I am and always will be your sister.”

Emma sighed as if she understood that I was holding back on her, but her curiosity was apparently satiated for the night. As she turned over and settled into the pillow, she spoke up again. “I’m just afraid you won’t come back, and I’ll have to go back to mom and dad and not have a sister anymore.”

She started snoring soon after that, which I was grateful for, because I was not very good at holding tears of this magnitude back. Although I later wrote it off as imagination, I could have sworn Julie and Emma snuggled closer to me for the rest of the night.

Continued in part 34!