Let’s Kill Hitler: a tingling sensation and a deadly kiss

FINALLY, Doctor Who is back. I’m not sure how I feel about this “summer break” thing, but that’s not what I want to talk about today. But before I talk about what I want to talk about, you should know that there are MAJOR spoilers in this post, so you’ve been warned. WAAAAARNED. Moving on.

This episode was absolutely INSANE. After my brother watched it, the day after I did, he texted me, simply, “HOLY SHIT.” Holy shit indeed, Vinny. So let me try to recap… Amy and Rory make crop circle spelling “Doctor” to get his attention, a childhood friend called Mels shows up all crazy, shoots the TARDIS, causes them all to crash land into Hitler’s private office. Then they end up accidentally interrupting a scenario in which a time traveling robot controlled from the inside by tiny humans is attempting to torture Hitler for his wordly misdeeds. This interruption gives said tiny humans the chance to recognize Mels who, after a stray shot from a freaked out Hitler, regenerates into who we’ve come to know as the indomitable River Song. This is River at her earliest point, so she’s actually totally nuts and wants to kill the Doctor. We eventually forget about Hitler as River going on a rampage trying to kill the Doctor and just generally raise hell and the time traveling shape shifting robot goes on a rampage trying to kill her. Then, right as the Doctor is about to die from River’s poison, she realizes he’s actually a good person and then uses the remainder of her regenerations to save his life. Sound good?

So it was a little insane that Melody, as “Mels”, gets to be raised by her parents after all, and it was a little more insane that we’ve never heart of her until now, but I’ll overlook it because OH MY GOD THIS EPISODE WAS AWESOME. We got a LOT more insight into what makes River what she is, although I wish we hadn’t started so early, because I’m more interested in what leads up to this episode in River’s timeline, rather than when she starts being River. But I have faith in Stephen Moffat, so for now, I’ll keep my mouth shut.

This episode also brings out more River-kills-the-Doctor conspiracy theories, since the time traveling shape shifting robot has “records” that says she kills him, but I still don’t buy it. Before the end of the episode when she gives up her regenerations, I was inclined to believe that potentially the little girl in the space suit could have been a later reincarnation of River, because Mels said “The last time I did this I ended up as a toddler wandering around New York.” But then she, you know, uses all her regenerations up. So that’s out.

Here’s why I don’t give a crap what the tiny humans say about her killing the Doctor: It’s way too obvious. They didn’t show us who was in the suit that killed the Doctor, and even though every character is basically screaming RIVER KILLED THE DOCTOR, I don’t believe it. Doesn’t it stand to reason that the Silence has more than one space suit? I mean, come ON. I refuse to believe it. Refuse refuse refuse.

“You will experience a tingling sensation, then death.” <— best quote from the episode. Best moment? When Rory punches Hitler. See you next Friday for a new Who blog!