The Ugly Duchess [A princess work in progress]

This is something I started working on over Christmas break, during my Disney princess resurgence faze. It’s meant to be a more realistic princess story, and who knows if I’ll finish it. I just thought I would share it, since it’s been fun to write up to now.

When I was little, I refused to go to sleep until my parents read me a story. And not just any old story. A princess story. A fairy tale, as they were more often called.

“Dad?” I asked one summer evening. “Why are they called fairy tales? Only Cinderella had a fairy in her story…”

My dad chuckled. “Because they fairy rarely come true.” Then he snapped shut the newest story, about Ariel the mermaid, and blew out the candle.

I thought about that and couldn’t help but accept it. But I still loved those stories, even into my teens. And of course, like all little girls, I wanted to be a princess too. The thing about me, though, is that I had the potential.

What’s the one thing that all the princesses had? Beauty. Also musical talent, but we don’t like to talk about that because I was so thoroughly shafted in that department. But beauty was the main factor. That was consistent among all the stories. And I had plenty of beauty. Long, curly brown hair fell gracefully across my narrow shoulders, occasionally hiding my exquisite hazel eyes. I suppose I was a bit curvier than most of the princesses, for my hips were full and sassy, but I was proportionate and fit.

I think even my mother wanted me to be a princess. She named me Amira, princess, as a last minute decision, as the word had just reached our kingdom of that Belle from France marrying the curse-cured prince. Belle was common, like we were, and had no prospects, save for her beauty. That was enough for my poor old mother to hope. My older brother was just plain Bowen, son of Owen, but he never had delusions of grandeur like the women of our family. I just wish I’d listened to him more often.

So I was all set to be a princess, really. Except for the singing part; I was as tone deaf as they come. But I was pretty, remember? Problem solved. Just no opening my mouth.

I spent my childhood listening and dreaming to those stories, and my teen years scouring them for helpful hints. But you know the one thing that none of them ever mentioned? How hard it is to fall in love.

Chpt 1.

Love was defined especially vaguely in those stories, and seemed to be weighted heavily on the fact that each leading girl was beautiful. The only princess to date that ever actually recognize this was Princess Odette from a few kingdoms over.

“You’re beautiful.” Prince Derek told her.

“But what else?” She asked him.

“What else is there?”

Talk about foot in the mouth. Sheesh. But from all of what I could find on that particular story, I wasn’t exactly convinced that he discovered anything else. There was some brief admission of “you’re kind” or some other bollocks, but that was it.

So I just assumed that falling in love with a prince, and vice versa, was too simple for words, and that’s the reason all the stories glazed over that. You know, love at first sight and all that drivel. My brother was the skeptic in the family, not me, so I let him be cynical. Meanwhile, I paid close attention to my looks and my manners and prepared for the day that I would be inevitably invited to a royal ball and Prince Liam would inevitably fall desperately in love with me.

Sigh. Prince Liam. A more gorgeous prince I couldn’t imagine. Even Prince Eric, Ariel’s leading man, paled in comparison to Liam. Four years my senior, Liam had unruly dark brown hair, light green eyes, and an olive complexion that came from riding his horse so often in the summer months. That was about all I knew about him, but really, how much else did any other girl know about the princes they ended up with? They’re hot, rich, and in a position of power. Love conquers all else, or so I’d heard.

I didn’t have any particular skills to speak of, past looking good and smiling at all the right times. That knowledge got me out of being asked to work in the palace kitchens when I turned fourteen, or being asked to be a laundry maid when I turned sixteen. My hands were always too soft and my looks always too revered. Of course I would be asked, when I came of age, to make the trip to the palace to meet the prince. That was pretty much unspoken.

Unfortunately, that’s when my father got sick. My mother had died a few years before, so our income was already limited to my brother’s palace pastry chef salary and my father’s repairman pay. I never had to work, since we all figured I’d be the next princess and I’d use my share of the royal funds to let the men in my family retire. Not my brother, I guess. For some strange reason, he liked his employment. He tried to explain it to me once, but I was in the middle of plucking the dark hairs off of my forearms, so I didn’t hear much of it. Not that I cared. It wasn’t my life.

But when my father fell ill, we didn’t have a choice. It was either find employment at the palace or run the risk of becoming malnourished and ugly. Oh, and my father dying from not enough medicine. That too.

So I rode our best horse to the castle wearing my best dress with my best smile plastered brightly across my face. The queen’s attendant carried out the interview.

“Name?”

“Amira L’Azure.”

“Family names and employments?”

“Brother, Bowen L’Azure, palace pastry chef.” The attendant smiled briefly, something you can’t exactly avoid if you know my brother. If his good looks didn’t get you, his cookies would. “Father, Owen L’Azure, repairman. He’s sick, though, so he can’t work at the moment.”

“Reason for seeking palace employment?”

“My father is sick and needs medicine.”

The woman looked me up and down. “Do you look like this every day?”

“Excuse me?”

She made a general gesture at my person. “Is this your natural look, or did you buy some temporary beauty serum to look nice for today’s interview?”

“Do- do people do that?” I asked, not entirely surprised. The majority of the people under palace employment were good looking.

“It has happened before.”

“Yes, I look like this naturally.” It took effort to keep a smirk off of my face. The attendant frowned slightly and crossed off something on the parchment she was writing on.

“Are you good with children?” She asked.

“I-” No. “Yes, of course. I love children.” The drooling, nose picking little devils.

The attendant nodded. “The queen will have to interview you herself after a week of employment, but for now, I think we’ll put you as the princess Drea’s companion. She has… been difficult as of late, and her last governess fled the kingdom.”

I swallowed but kept the smile steady on my face. “I’m sure we’ll be fast friends.”

“You are dismissed. Come to the castle tonight with your things and we shall move you in straightaway.”

I thanked her. “May I have permission to visit my brother in the kitchens before I leave to collect my personal effects?”

“Of course.” We curtsied to one another and I went to find Bowen.

“Bowen!” I cried when I finally found the correct kitchen. There were four that I’d already checked, each used for a different meal of the day. “Oh, Bowen, I have the loveliest of news!”

He looked up, surprised at my being there, but then smiled. “You will work here now?”

“Yes, as the princesses’ companion!”

My brother raised his eyebrow and inspected the decorative icing on the cake one of his assistants had placed in front of him. “You hate children. More purple flowers, I think. All of the yellow makes it seem unbalanced.” He directed the last bit at the assistant, who nodded somberly.

“I don’t hate children…”

“Yes you do. Although I suppose the princess is eleven, so shes not exactly a child…”

“Positive thinking!” I smiled at him. “Do you have any treats that I can bring home to father with the good news?” I wasn’t usually so gracious, but I was in a good mood.

Bowen picked up on the unnatural kindness as well, but handed me a bag of misshapen cookies. “They taste the same as the ones I just sent up to the princess, but you can’t serve a royal anything short of art.”

I tried one. “Then that their loss. Mmmm.”

He swatted my finger away from a newly frosted pie. “Away with you, selfish sister. Father will need his medicine soon.”

My father was equally suspicious about my new employment.

“The princess is even more spoiled than you are.” He informed me with a frown, chewing on a cookie thoughtfully.

I ignored that, as rising to insults was not becoming. “Here, father, one more sip of your medicine…”

He crinkled his nose and made a retching sound. “It is awful.”

“As awful as you look? Don’t make me force it down your throat…” I threatened. He gulped and accepted the final spoonful. “Now, with my income and Bowen’s, we can afford a nurse to look after you three times a week, so be nice to her.”

“I’m always nice.” He retorted, shoving an entire cookie into his mouth to wash away the medicine.

“And I adore children.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Save some of those for tomorrow. Bowen sent you plenty.”

My father ignored me and ate another before swatting me playfully away. “Go and pack, you silly girl. The palace is expecting you.”

I yelped and smiled with real enthusiasm, rushing away to do just that.

 

 

Chpt 2.

The princess had already gone to bed by the time I’d returned to the palace, so the attendant just led me to my quarters, adjoining with the princess’.

“In the morning, when she wakes, the princess will ring a bell.” She explained to me as I unpacked my things into the small chest of drawers by my bed. “You will rise, check in, and fetch warm water for her bath. If you do not get it to her quickly enough, she will ring a second bell that connects to my quarters downstairs. I will ignore that bell for the first week, as the princess is often unforgiving towards new companions, but after that, if I hear the bell, you will be immediately dismissed.”

I found to keep my eyebrows unexpressive. “Where will I get the water from?”

“The kitchens heat up a bucket of it every morning and place it under the princess’ window. There is a pulley in her room that you will lower and then run downstairs to connect. The kitchen workers don’t have time to wait around for the pulley hook to drop. Then you will run back upstairs to bring the water in and fill up the tub.”

“That sounds horribly inefficient.” I noted. The attendant glared at me.

“After helping her bathe” -I gagged inwardly- “you will dress the princess and take her to her lessons. This is very important- you must walk her all the way to her tutor before going about your other duties. She has been known to skip her tutoring sessions if no one is watching her.”

I bit back a grin. Maybe I’d like this girl after all. Then I remembered that I was in charge of her, not just her friend, and sobered up immediately.

“While the princess is taking her lessons, you will report to the kitchens for other duties, most often running to the market or helping serve their majesties’ guests in the great hall.” I nodded. “Your free day will be Sundays, and as requested, all your salary will be delivered directly to your father at your previous place of residence. I would recommend you rest now. The princess rises early.” The attendant nodded at me and left the room, leaving me with a cocked eyebrow and a severe doubt that I’d be able to hold this job for very long.

I had every intention of going to sleep then, but I heard the Prince’s deep, lovely voice from the corridor and couldn’t help myself. I was still in my best dress, so it couldn’t do that much harm. Not as if I were in my nightgown.

“…danced with that Prince Darren from the Netherlands all night!” He was telling another young man, who I recognized as the Duke’s son Theo, Prince Liam’s best friend. “After all that we’ve been through!”

Theo rolled his eyes at his friend. “You kissed her hand and called her a beautiful flower at a ball almost a year ago. It hardly counts as a significant romantic history.”

Prince Liam seemed to deflate, his head and shoulders hanging limply underneath his expensively tailored ball outfit. It was so heartbreaking to watch that I accidentally stepped out from behind the pillar next to my chamber’s door, revealing myself to the boys.

The prince inflated again almost immediately. It was quite gratifying to me, although it warranted another round of eye-rolling from Theo.

“I-I’m terribly sorry, your majesty,” I pretended to stutter. “Tis my first night in the castle and I heard voices. There is so much going on!” I curtsied in a shy yet seductive manner, lowering my face only slightly.

In three long strides, Prince Liam was upon me, bowing. I forced myself to blush, but in my head I was thinking all according to plan in my most wicked way. “No need to apologize.” He caught my hand and brushed his lips across it. “Who might you be?” Theo coughed as if covering up a laugh.

“Amira L’Azure, your highness. I am to be Princess Drea’s new companion.”

Theo snorted and came to stand by his friend, looking me up and down. “Good luck with that.”

“Thank you, sir!” I curtsied a second time, choosing to ignore the sarcasm. A witty retort might be welcome in the city, but amongst such accomplished young men it would be unseemly. Not princess behavior.

“Well, Amira, it has truly been a pleasure.” Prince Liam bowed again, and then he and his friend disappeared around the corner.

Before I could shut the door behind me to silently celebrate, I heard Theo commenting to Prince Liam. “Yeah, ok, she’s gorgeous. But she’s hardly interesting enough to keep my attention.”

“It’s not your attention she needs to keep.” Prince Liam retorted. “You’re not the one who promised his parents he’d be betrothed by the end of the year.”

“Yeah, because I’m not an idiot.”

“You’re also not the heir to the throne.”

“I’m fifth in line!”

“Not the same, my friend.”

Their voices trailed off and I retreated into my chambers. Not interesting, hm? It hardly mattered. I only had eyes for the Prince.

 

Chpt 3.

It seemed as though only minutes had passed before the little bell above my bed began to ring. The sun hadn’t even begun to rise over the horizon yet. What a horrid little beast. Quickly I braided my hair down my back and slipped into a dress before heading through the adjoining doors to the princess’ chambers.

I curtsied to the disheveled looking young girl. “Your majesty, my name is Amira, and I am your new companion.”

The princess frowned at me. “Well? Aren’t you going to get my water?” She looked meaningfully at the raised pulley hook.

I curtsied again and crossed the room to the window. From almost one hundred feet below me, I could see steam coming off of the bucket of water. Great.

Lowering the pulley, I realized two things. First, the reason I would have to go all the way downstairs to hook the bucket was because the rope was several inches too short to be able to hook from here. Second, the water would most certainly be cold by the time I managed to wrestle it into the room.

“Why is the rope so short?” I asked the princess, glancing over my shoulder. “A few more inches and we could hook it here from the window.”

The princess stared at me. “Are you addressing me?”

“You’re the only other person within the audible vicinity, so yes, your majesty, I am addressing you.” Then I clapped my hand over my mouth. You can’t talk to the princess like that! It was too late to take it back, though, so I waited in silence, keeping eye contact with the princess. Stupid, stupid, you’ll surely be dismissed for that!

After a few moments of considering me, the princess reached under her pillow and revealed several inches of rope and a shard of mirror. I raised my eyebrow. “It doesn’t take long for my companions to be dismissed if my bath water is always cold.”

“And why would you want your companions dismissed?”

She frowned at me, as if she wasn’t used to being questioned. “Because they’re old and mean and strict and not nearly clever enough.”

I untied the knot from the end of the remaining pulley string, releasing it from the pulley wheel. “How’s this for clever?” I asked, leaning out the window and swinging the rope to hook the bucket. It caught, and I gripped the rope with two hands, bringing it back up to the wheel and, after much grunting, pulling the bucket into the room. It was no longer steaming, but it was still warm. With a fair bit of difficultly, I dragged the bucket over to the bathing area and filled the tub.

“Alright, you.” I said to the startled princess. “Get in while it’s still warm.”

The princess was stunned into silence for a moment. Then she became indignant again. “You must help me remove my nightgown.”

Eyebrows raised once again, I went to her bed. “Arms up.” I ordered. Still surprised, she complied, and I yanked off the silk nightgown unceremoniously. “Now into the tub with you.”

I helped her lather up with soap and shampoo, finding it not as strange as I had imagined it. The princess didn’t say a word. “Where do you take breakfast?” I asked as I handed her a towel. I may have taken her by surprise with my inventiveness with the bath water, but she’d had time during her wash to get herself under control again. Fine. Two could play that game.

“I take it here, in my quarters.” She said, raising her chin ever so slightly as she dried her arms.

“Well, that’s going to change.” I told her, taking a day gown off of a hanger. “You think I want to spend all day cleaning up your crumbs? Not likely.” Princess Drea opened her mouth to angrily protest, but I cut her off. “Your highness, I promise, a trip out of your room for morning meal will be well worth your time. I promise.” The prospect of food not only cheered me up, but it gave me an idea.

The princess seemed intrigued, and I took that as another small victory. “Follow me, your majesty.” I said after I helped her into her gown and found a pair of matching slippers. “Have you ever been to the kitchens before?” I asked in an attempt at conversation.

“No.” She replied sullenly. “My other companions didn’t think it was a place for a princess.”

I considered that. “Well, I’m going to be doing things a little bit differently. But.” I stopped walking and bent down to meet the princess’ intent stare straight on. “That does not mean you should expect to get away with things. You will still go to your lessons and act civilized.” I thought for a moment. “I’ll make you a deal, your majesty.” Drea looked suspicious. “You don’t try to sabotage me, and I promise to be fun.” I held out my hand. “Deal?”

She placed her small, soft hand in my grip without tearing her big blue eyes away from mine. “You can call me Drea.”

I grinned in victory, turning again. “Well then, Drea, let’s get something to eat.”

At the breakfast kitchen, I let the princess order our food, to the amusement of the cooks. We were presented then with large plates filled with eggs, sausage, and toast. “But where will we sit?” She asked me, staring down at her food. I doubt she had ever had to carry it herself.

“We have one more stop.” I told her, leading her down the corridor, past the lunch and dinner kitchens and into my brother’s territory.

“Your finest table and pastries please, Sir Bowen.” I winked at my brother as Drea came into view, her eyes wide with wonder at all the sweets.

He gaped at me.

“Who is Sir Bowen, and why is he wearing that silly hat?” Drea asked, frowning up at my brother.

He raised his hand to his chef’s hat self consciously. “Does my hat not please you, your majesty?” He asked jokingly, making a half bow. The princess giggled. “Follow me, ladies, and I’ll bring your pastries straightaway.” Bowen led us to the small break room where I remember waiting for him to finish his shifts. There were two small tables with three chairs each. Drea and I sat down at one while my brother disappeared again to fetch something sweet.

“Bowen is my brother.” I explained to the princess as she dug into her food excitedly. “He’s worked here in the kitchens for several years now.”

“Do your parents work here too?” She asked curiously. I smiled to myself that I’d already gotten through to her.

“No. My mother died many years ago, and my father is a carpenter. Was a carpenter.” I corrected myself. “He’s sick. That’s why I came to work here. He needs medicine.”

“That’s very good of you.” The princess approved. “Most of my companions only wanted the elevated status.”

I declined to mention my plan of marrying her older brother. “I’m glad you approve.”

Bowen appeared again then, bearing a plate of bite sized custards. His hat was now upside down, which only made the princess giggle harder. “I hope these will be more to your standards than my poor hat, majesty.” My brother bowed, and his poor hat fell onto my plate. He made a big show of retrieving it and apologizing before retreating back into the kitchen.

Drea surveyed me as I reached for a custard. “Do I have to go to my lessons?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because someday you’re going to rule a kingdom. And if you aren’t educated, then how can you make good decisions for your people’s welfare?”

“That’s a good answer. Thank you for not saying something stupid.” She agreed. “Do I have to call you Miss L’Azure?”

“I beg of you not to.”

“Ok.” She chewed a custard of her own. “But do I have to call you Amira?”

“That is my name, Drea.”

“Can I call you Ami?”

“Bowen calls me that sometimes.”

“So is that a yes?”

“Maybe.”

“Please? What if I’m in trouble and need to call your name but I don’t have time to yell Amira?”

I laughed. “And what kind of trouble do you think you’re going to be getting into?”

Drea shrugged. “Well, what if?”

“Fine. Fine. Ami it is.” We grinned at each other. The clock tower tolled outside. “Oop! Time for your lessons!”

Drea frowned and looked sadly at the pile of uneaten custards. “Will your brother have to throw these away now?”

“Tell you what. I’ll have him put them in a bag for after your lessons, ok? Just promise it won’t spoil your afternoon meal.”

“Promise!”

I gave Bowen her request as we left the kitchens, and realized that I had no idea where to take the princess for her lessons. “Now it’s your turn to follow.” She announced proudly, grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs.