[Day 316] Eugenia part 16

Read part 15 here!

I went back to see Decklan the very next day, partially because I needed to get some hair dye for Julie, and partially because I wanted to propose something to him.

“What do you say we go for a walk after your shift?” I asked him casually, watching him resort the cashier.

He glanced up sharply. “Is this the kind of walk that one doesn’t want to be followed on?”

“It’s probably best that way, yes.”

I watched him carefully as he considered this request. I could tell he’d worked much of who I was out from my previous visits, and that there was a definite spark of curiosity. Unfortunately, I couldn’t yet tell how much there was.

“Ok.” He finally answered. “I get off in an hour and a half.”

Nodding, I left the store, not wanting to push my luck by getting to know him better. There would be time for that later, I hoped.

While I waited, I wandered around town, feeling brave. It was a particularly blustery day, so everyone was wrapped in layers of windbreakers and long sleeved blouses. My lack of an identifying tattoo wouldn’t be noticed today.

Soon, my wandering led me to a small, used bookstore that I often found myself drawn to on my jaunts. Ascertaining with a clock nearby that I still had plenty of time before meeting my potential new confidante, I crept to the nook I frequented on my many visits. Behind one chair, I had hidden a dogeared a book to finish upon my next visit. Finding it again quickly, I settled into the dusty armchair and was immersed.

This was behavior Julie simply couldn’t tolerate. “How can you just sit there?” She would ask me crossly, wanting to go to the lake and climb the trees. I wouldn’t let her go alone, afraid of her getting caught. She was intelligent and already very careful, but I’d even had some close calls.

“You just sit there when you’re doing your drawings.” In hindsight, arguing with Julie was usually a bad idea, but her unceremonious wrenching of my mind out of its reverie was never exactly welcome.

“But I’m doing something. Creating something. When I draw, I’m making something all my own. But when you… read,” she spat the last word like it was vulgarity, “you’re just observing someone else’s stuff.”

“Well, what about art museums? You told me you used to like those. Aren’t you just observing them?”

She sighed, as if I was some sort of idiot. “No, because once I’ve seen something, I move on.”

“Once I finish a book, I move on.”

“But you’re not moving!”

“Not literally-”

“That’s what I mean, though. Admiring art is all well and good, but you’re so… stationary.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being stationary. Once you’ve lived by yourself for four years with no one to talk to because society thinks you’re too stupid to function, you’ll understand. Being stationary becomes second nature.”

Julie wrinkled her nose in distaste. “I sure hope you figure out a way to reintegrate us, then. If I start acting like you…”

I heard a noise now, and looked up from my book to see the shopkeeper shelving some new findings. She smiled at me kindly, as only people over sixty know how, and I returned it. She was always kind to me, and never demanded to see my tattoo like I’d seen others do. It was always comfortable in this shop, and I would always credit my sanity to this safe haven. There, I didn’t have to pretend, and I didn’t feel wrong.

My hour and a half passed much quicker than I expected, and before I was really prepared, it was time for me to leave. I started to return the book to my hiding place when the shopkeep, Malia was her name, cleared her throat.

I turned guiltily, book in hand, but she didn’t look angry. In fact, she was smiling. “You know,” she told me knowingly, “you could just ask me to hold it for you. Here, I’ll even give you a book mark to keep your page. Dogearing ruins books.” Blushing, I handed her the book. “There. Now, the next time you’re in here, you don’t have to act like a criminal.”

Stammering my thanks, I started to retreat. Her voice stopped me. “Do you have a name, dear?”

Freezing, I considered my options. It had been years since my escape, no one but maybe the government still kept track of that. “It’s Meg.”

“Well then, Meg. Come back soon.”

As I stepped back out into the cold, I smiled to myself. Although conversation was still difficult for me, having been alone for so long, it was always a pleasant change of pace. Feeling especially cheery, I shoved my hands in my pockets for warmth and trotted to meet Decklan.

He was standing outside the grocery store, hands in his own coat pockets, when I returned. Smiling at him, which seemed to be a shock, I continued walking without breaking a stride. He seemed to get the idea, though, and followed me at a distance, casually glancing into shops as we left the city. After we were out of sight from any stragglers, I slowed my pace and allowed him to catch up. We didn’t talk, because there was nothing to say.

When the little house and garden came into view, Decklan gasped.

“So it’s true.”

“What is?” I wanted to hear him say it.

“You really are living off the grid. You don’t actually exist to them.” He gestured back towards the town.

“No, I suppose I don’t. Come inside, it’s cold.” I opened the door and walked inside, followed by Decklan. “There’s someone I want you to-”

“Meg!” Julie’s voice came from behind the curtain that separated the sleeping area from the rest of the house. She appeared looking excited. “I just finished a-” she stopped short, staring wide-eyed at Decklan. I waited for her to make a remark or ask a question, but she stood silently until I spoke up.

“Julie,” Decklan started at the name, seemingly recognizing it. “This is Decklan. He’s still… inside. I think he can help us.”

My two companions didn’t speak, staring at each other.

“Ok…” I waited a bit longer, then tried again. “He’s a student at the college, and he hates FF as much as we do.”

“So what can he do?” Julie finally asked.

“Sorry, what?”

“I meant what I said. So he hates FF. Big deal. I’m sure a bunch of people do. What can he do?”

“Well,” to be honest, I hadn’t really thought that far ahead. Making contact with someone still attached to society was about as far as I’d gotten. “He can try to…”

“There are others.” He blurted, still staring at Julie. “Others who disagree with the FF policies.”

“There are?” This was news to me. It had been a miracle I’d found one, but now there were others?

“Yes. We can’t really talk a lot, you know, with it being treason and all, but sometimes, we meet up somewhere and discuss it.”

“Well, I’m sure that does a lot of good.” Said Julie scathingly. I looked at her with shock, still reeling from this new development.

“Julie!”

“It’s true! Talking is useless! So there are other people. Big whoop.”

“I’m sorry we aren’t beating down senators doors demanding a change in a policy that’s been accepted and in place for a hundred years.” Decklan remarked. “It’s wrong and should be changed, but it’s not like FF is really like eugenics. Not anymore, at least.”

“Excuse me?” Now I stepped in again.

“But it’s not!” he defended his statement quickly. “They don’t kill anyone.”

Then it hit me. For all these dissenters were against the system, they still had no idea what really went on after the tests. Julie dissolved into hysterical laughter, and I gently touched Decklan’s arm, turning him towards me. “There’s a lot you don’t know about FF.”

Continued in part 17