Posted in Blog

Housekeepin’ it real

This picture is completely unrelated to all but one sentence of this blog————–>

Since it’s the last week of school, I am unsurprisingly busy, and I don’t have time to make a real blog. Also, last Thursday I had a massive (but well-disguised) mental breakdown in the middle of creative nonfiction, so I’m trying to take it easy.

I don’t get this stressed. It isn’t in my nature. Sure, I have a slightly larger share of anxiety than most normal people, but I don’t get it this badly when I don’t have any significant (and recent) emotional duress. I don’t have any significant or recent emotional duress because all the guys I talk to are either gay, related to me, or very much in the friend zone. So why am I stressed?

Well, because I was quietly but violently hyperventilating mid-class, I did the only thing I could: I made a list.

The list of things I was (and am) stressed out about was 22 items long (and one of those items had four sub-stress items underneath it, because I am a crazy person). That’s a lot of items. Let me just tell you, it was not a fun hour and a half.

Either way, I’m working on calming myself down by sleeping more, planning things out better, and reminding myself that most of what I’m stressed about I have no control over so I may as well let it go. But it’s me, so we all know how that’s going to work out.

Now! Housekeeping!

These Folk, my collab channel, is taking two psuedo-breaks this year: one in May (oh, hey, it’s May right now!) and one in August (like last year) because most of us are still in school and those are the craziest times. This means that there won’t be any Sunday videos this month. HOWEVER,

My main channel is still very much alive. I’ve got one more Rome video and one Cooking with Gandalf ready to upload, and hopefully we’ll have time to film the season 2 finale of Cooking with Gandalf before the three of us hosts split for summer. I will keep up the schedule of uploading videos every Thursday throughout the summer (and the rest of my life) so you’ll have that to hate on look forward to.

My friend Gustavo, seen here looking adorable, is getting married in August. I found out on Facebook. I’m still mad about that. I’m writing this with an angry face, Gus. You best watch out. Also, since when have we all been old enough to get married? I bettah find me a husband quick. Any takers?

On the subject of people near my age acting all adult-like, my best friend Rachel’s older sister Ashleigh just had her first baby! Welcome to this world, Elizabeth! You are adorable!

My brother is graduating from high school in a week. WHEN U GET SO OLD, VINNY?

Let’s see, what else do I have to talk about? I’m obsessed with James Marsters, my dorm room is sad and empty because I took down all the posters, the show Angel doesn’t make any sense and is very stressful, and I wrote this really profane poem about Bart that I can’t post in its entirety here because it’s really inappropriate. Here’s the beginning, just because I like it a lot:

 

I love you, man.

Though the words are the same

people will construe them wrong

because of these parasitic double dees

clasped to my chest

But don’t mistake this phrase for something it isn’t

I’m spitting bromance, straight up.

We used to joke that you were so manly

Your X chromosome was really just a sloppy Y

So Y can’t I

Have one of those too?

We can be Sloppy Y bruthas from othuh muthas

and if science argues that a sloppy chromosome equals

mentally challenged

Then challenge accepted.

I’ll bromance you even if I’m a zucchini

And you’re an onion

Because vegetative states are not excuses

to let the bromance die.

 

Clevercleverclever ok I’m done. Wish me luck during finals week, friends!

What's up, my dudes?

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