An Unfitting End

I feel like enough time has passed since this particular personal crisis arose that I can adequately report on it to you, my few loyal readers. You’ve been with me through the Sean fiasco, the Dylan crisis, and my parent’s divorce. And if you’ll stay with me a bit longer, I’ve a new friendship failure I’m just itching to get off my chest.

You remember Craig, right? He used to blog under the name Adventure Captain Pants on this very website. We traveled to LA last summer to go to VidCon together. He also appeared in several of my videos and before we left for college started a collab channel with me, TheAdamCastles. To refresh your memories, here are a few examples:

If you got through all three of those videos, you have a pretty good idea what our friendship was like. Random, fun, and close. I drove him to school almost every morning (we’re neighbors, have been so since we were five), and I was the first person other than his older sister (who didn’t believe him) that he came out to. For the first two or so years of high school, I was the only person he would talk to, because he was so shy. Sometimes we would just sit in my car in his driveway and talk for hours on end, until his cats were jumping all over my truck and the sun was nowhere to be seen.

So yea. Suffice it to say we were best friends. Got that? Best friends.

The first video embedded in this post was filmed on Craig’s last night in town before going off to college in Texas, at our high school. After he left, we texted, emailed, made videos, skyped, phoned, and even wrote letters. We were closer than ever, even 2000 miles apart.

And then came September. Apparently, some event I’m unaware of transpired between us (translation: nothing happened) and he stopped talking to me. Stopped returning texts, emails, videos, calls, the lot. Sound familiar? Oh, yeah, it’s EXACTLY WHAT DYLAN (and this guy named Taylor… different story) DID TO ME. With absolutely no provocation, Craig (and Dylan. And Taylor) stopped talking to me. And the few times I did manage to get him to respond to something (see: twice) his emails were sharp and unfriendly. He deleted me from his Facebook friends (cold, I know) and effectively cut me out of his life.

“I feel bad that you feel bad. But I don’t feel that my actions are wrong, which is what I don’t understand.” -December 2010

Yeah, thanks Craig. THAT explains a whole lot.

So in conclusion, for some reason my best friend no longer wants to talk to me, after absolutely no explanation or fight.

“I’ve been fully aware this entire time what an supreme asshole I am being.” -December 2010 (same email as above quote)

Awesome. So you’re self aware. *high five*

It’s gotten to a point where I no longer cry when I think about this, which is what tipped me off that I should share the situation with you all. Of course, every time I walk by his house to walk my dog, which is unavoidable, a little part of me dies. And of course, when I’m in one of those moods where everything sucks, this is the first thing my masochistic mind goes to.

No one else who personally knew Craig knows why he’s doing this. Not even Bart, who spent a lot of time with the two of us and who knows me better than anyone else (besides Rachel and, disgustingly, Craig). His behavior is a complete mystery to me and everyone else we knew who was privy to this information prior to this blog. And it sucks.

But I guess this is just one of those times where I have to buck it up and get over it. I’m very obviously not going to get an actual answer out of him, so the only thing that’s left for me to do is pick up the remaining pieces of my constantly-ravaged heart and work on putting them back together. I won’t let him do to me what Dylan and Sean did. I won’t stop my life because of him. I don’t deserve that, and clearly, he’s not worth it.

So for those of you who have been with me for this whole post, thank you. Thanks for listening to my BS personal problems and my deranged rants over the years. But I think I’m getting better. Don’t you?