For those of you who know my last name, google me and my site comes up!
here are some other things:
sexy bri (I know! It's awesome!)
vannah (although it's a ways down on the page)
Sweet Temptations + Bri's Own World ( I think that if you type just about anything that appears on this site and add a "+ Bri's Won World", we will come up)
Let's see… (all of the following have "+ Bri's Own World" attatched)
Liam Aiken
Vinny
wikipedia
HECK YES
…and so on and so forth. Isn't that cool???
Today's synopsis:
Apparently:
I have wrinkles
I dress like someone's grandma
I am of no identifiable gender
It's ok to throw paper airplanes at me and expect me to give them back
I'm not worth respecting
Even though I'm the ONLY person they [he] trust[s], they [he] can still torture me and take me for granite and expect me to still be there
In other news:
High school kids [guy friends] are cruel
And that is the biggest understatement in the universe.
I've finally decided to put it up…
The new moon is the darkest time of the month, and it can also symbolize the darkest time in someone's life. But darkness doesn't always suggest melancholy.
My darkness was under-confidence. Throughout my elementary and middle school life it was like a savage plague, killing me from the inside out. My torment came from the outside primarily, but I took it in and it grew into something much more intense and grotesque.
I had always been a loner, so maybe my new moon started because I wasn't used to talking to people; my protective 'shell' wasn't fully operational.
Every school has a bully. Some bullies are physical, some are mental, and some are a horrific combination of both. My elementary school's was mostly mental, but the vicious little demon would dish out punches every once in a while.
From second grade on, he tormented me, telling me how “ugly”, “fat”, and “stupid” I was, among other things, as he kicked mud in my face and threw projectiles. I took every bit of the disdain he had for me and turned it into contempt and disgust for myself. I despised the bully for hurting me, but also despised myself because I thought he was right, thought that I was truly all those hideous things. And so I retreated inside myself, afraid of being me, before I even hit puberty.
I met Vannah subconsciously, like a little voice in my head that provided moral support. She was the voice of reason, persuading me not to listen to the bully. But, her being just a subconscious buzz of slight annoyance, I ignored her, and continued my inward torture.
My first two years of middle school were horrible. If I wasn't alone, I was with a group of people that I didn't necessarily like or want to be around, but my craving for company held me in. Every time I began to be myself, something happened and caused me to retreat within once more.
In eighth grade, I started to sit with a group of girls at lunch. I was cautious; they were very outspoken, so I didn't talk much the first few months.
And then I realized something about these girls. They didn't have the greatest self-confidence, they weren't the most popular, and people teased them. But the difference between them and me was that they didn't care. They took insults and laughed, because they were secure enough in who they were not to take it seriously. And I wished I were more like that. I was still not totally secure, though I was more outgoing and open, but I wasn't brave enough to completely be myself yet.
I formally met Vannah the summer after eighth grade. She began as just a character on my website; I credited original songs to her, in fear that my voice was not very good. But then people started reacting to the songs, complimenting them. So I began crediting them to myself, more confident. The website's visitors applauded.
After that I began to see myself more clearly. I was not really a naturally quiet person; I had been forced into silence by my lack of confidence. Likewise, I was not nearly as shy as I had thought, merely afraid of what people would think of me.
It was in my honors comp/lit class where I finally brought Vannah out. The assignment had been to bring in song lyrics to analyze. One girl's mother had volunteered her to sing her lyrics. The girl's voice was beautiful. My teacher asked if anyone else wanted to sing theirs'. I had brought some of my own lyrics, and I looked down at them then, undecided. Another girl volunteered. Her voice was beautiful.
Again, my teacher asked for volunteers. Two of my friends looked at me expectantly; they had read my lyrics. Slowly, I raised my hand. I pretended that I didn't want to, that I was forced, but in my head, Vannah urged me on. I was now in the front center of the room, the center of attention. A part of my mind hurriedly made up excuses to get out of it, another part told me to run, but Vannah only had one thing to say to me.
“Sing.”
And I obeyed. No one spoke a word as the music flowed from my mouth as if they belonged somewhere outside of my head. And then the unthinkable happened; the thing I never expected.
They applauded.
Since then, I have rarely been afraid to do anything. I will no longer be a bird caged from flying; Vannah was my savior!
But, then again, she had absolutely nothing to do with it. I sang those songs on my website. I wrote those stories, those poems. I sang in front of all those people. I was the one they applauded. It was my subconscious mind that created Vannah to help me find myself.
Thank you, Vannah.
It was awful. And let me tell you why.
At first, when we got dropped off, looking purty good, if you ask me, we had to stand outside for twenty minutes because the teachers couldn't get their acts together.
When we finally got inside, we went into the gym for pictures. That took another twenty minutes.
By the time that was done, the dance was already half over.
When we got there, the music was off because the teacher, who was also the DJ, blew the speakers out. they didn't play slow songs for more than fifteen seconds anyway (which, in the end, turned out to be a good thing)
We stood in our little group for a little, then Hayley went off with her new friend and Kelli dissapeared with her date… so it was just Bridget, Mia, Danika, and me.
Mia had been asked to the dance by Jacob, one of my guy friends, but she only said yes because she didn't want to be rude. (poor guy, when Micheal made him ask her himself, while we were outside, he stammered and said 'do you have a….dance?')
I had been asked by Tristan, who, as it turns out, acctually does like me, and was not dressed up at ALL. Not even a tie. Just a really baggy blue polo shirt and black pants with converse (I approved that, at least)
After a while, our feet hurt (high heels),
so me and Bridget went and sat down. Micheal and Jacob came over and sat by us (me) for a little and talked. I was vaugley aware of Tristan and his friend Tanner only dancing within ten feet of me.
When Mike and Jake left, Tristan 'non-chalantly' plopped down next to me, and I found myself promising him a slow dance.
That was after Bridget winked at me and stood up and left.
Then I found Bridget and Mia and Danika and we went and hid out in the gym and took off our shoes. Apparently, Tristan and Tanner followed us, but they left.
But they knew where I was. So when the slow song came on in the cafeteria (what's a party without that gross fish nugget and chicken farm smell?), he marched into the gym and said, "Bri, it's a slow song,"
My friends snickered. Sheesh.
So I had no choice but to follow him out the doors and into the cafeteria. With my heels, I was taller than him by about two inches.
Tanner was snickering and taking pictures with his phone.
Thankfully, the dance only lasted about ten seconds.
Again, I found myself aggreeing to another dance. Gosh, why do I do this to myself??
Mia and Bridget and I hid out in the bathroom for a while, where there was no paper towels so we dried our hands with toilet paper.
Then we went back outside and sat down for a while.
Then we got up and went into the gym again.
Then we went back into the hall and Mike and Jacob were sitting, so I went and talked to them. Apparently, Jacob hadn't asked Mia to dance becase Mike had told him that she didn't look 'into' him, Which was true, but what kind of friend does that??
Mike hadn't been having the best luck with girls either. He'd asked 5 girls in the past three days and got rejected by all of them.
Then Tyler came ofer and we all talked for a little, Mike untied his tie, unbuttoned some of his shirt, and turned his collar up and started acting like a drunk person. It was quite entertaining.
Tanner came over to me and told me that Tristan was sick and had to go home and wanted Tanner to tell me that. I said, 'oh. ok.' like the genius that I am.
When Tanner left, Tyler looked at me and said 'you aren't very put down about that, are you?'
I said not really.
Then, finally, it was time to leave, so six of us (minus Kelli, who must have had OODLES of fun with her date [i love u Kelli!], plus this one girl…) squeexed into Hayley's stepmom's truck and went to Hayley's house for a bon-fire.
It wasn't really all that fun. I was still depressed from the dance, my ear got milked, and the boys that were there (Hayley's brother and his friends) were standing in the middle of the fire like morons.
So I got home at 11:30, washed off my makeup, took out my hair, and lay down in my bed for a couple of minutes.
Then I decided I was hungry, so I got up and used a little light I got from Kit's Peak that was really dull and went out into the garage and got a slice of cold pepperoni. Mmmmm.
Then I went to bed.
We all looked really good, though.
Too bad it wasn't worth it at all.
Kelli, Bridget, Me (my posture sucks), Hayley, Mia, Danika
Oh, geez, why me???
Stupid nose…
my hair is nice… but look at my nose!!!!
It doesn't look half as bad in this picture… oh, geez o pete!!!
megan's coming over in a few hours… and so is everyone else (mia, hayley, bridget, kelli, danika).
I hope megan can make it less… AWFUL.
And does everyone see the zit under my nosE? or on my chin?
I hate myself.
Why? Because:
today was the first day in the three years we've been friends that Dylan has complimented me!
*slaps*
Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's right folks.
I had to sing my song 'invisible torment' to my comp/lit class and afterwards he complimented me. He was also mad that I didn't tell him i was a 'ficking pro singer'. (his words, not mine)
So yes, i have awful enough relationships with some of my friends that I have to have a holiday when they compliment me.
But, you know what? I don't care. BEcause he complimented me.
Also, I got hugged by two people because they liked my song/singing.
very strange day…
Oh, and
CONGRADULATIONS, KELLI, ON GETTING A DATE TO HOMECOMING!
Oh.
I see.
He doesn't like like me…
I'm just another name on a list.
The only one that said yes.
Gee that sucks.
I hate myself.
I GOT ASKED TO HOMECOMING.
By TRISTAN.
My friend.
My buddy, that I used to tease about not being as strong as I was!
Tristan!
I didn't know he liked me!
Well, it sort of makes sense, I guess.
Obviously, since I'm so freaking hot.
No, acctually, we've been close [semi] friends for a while… just…
WOW.
Acctually, first, his friend Brennon asked me for him.
I thought he was joking, but he said he was serious.
I made him go get Tristan so he could ask me face to face.
Tristan came.
I told him i had already made plans to go with my friends, but I'd see him there, and I'd save him a dance.
I HAVE A (SORT OF) DATE TO HOMECOMING!
With… my friend.
Oh, geez, I don't know how to dance.
This sucks.
This is my homecoming outfit (I will not be wearing the necklace).
I'm not wearing makeup, or anything, but this is the CLOTHING.
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You have no idea how bad the heels hurt.
The dress is a hand-me-down-loaner from my freind, megan sushi. and the heels. and the necklace.
everything else I bought.
*shudder* panty hose…
Day 1:
Got to Redlands at 7:30, checked bags, got name tag, black visor, and interery.
Boarded bus at approx. 8:30.
Ate lunch in Silverthorn at subway. With teachers. I’m such a loser I sat with the teachers. Apparently they don’t mind that I have loser-itus. Or maybe it was the fact that I was sitting in the booth alone and that was against the rules. Oh well.
Then we got on the bus again and finished our ride to the Denver International Airport. We then stood around for about an hour, then checked our bags, then stood around for ANOTHER hour and a half near the terminal. I stayed near the “chaperones” and read a book that I started on the bus. Skeleton Key by Anthony Horwitz. It’s the third Alex Rider book. I love those books. There’s a movie coming out about them. The guy that plays Alex is hot.
But anyway, we got to chose who we sat with on the plane, so we were supposed to get into groups of 3.(the plane had three seats on either side of the isle) Stephani and Cody V(who were, at the time, dating) asked me to sit with them. I said ok, like I had anyone else to sit with. I was on the isle, but that was good cuz I could talk to other people(not that thare was anyone to talk to, but whatever). Went through heavy turbulance in Missouri as we were eating ‘dinner'(‘pizza sticks’ and cold gross marinara sauce). Stephani was on her first ever flight, so she was scared out of her mind.
Finally, at about 10 or 11 pm, we made it to DC. Our bus driver, Tyrone(or big Ty, or ty baby, or downtown tyrone brown), who drove us around all week, picked us up and drove us to the Comfort Inn. With my over-whelming luck, I shared a room with stehpani, lilliam, sam, and brooke.(*shudder*) We had a pretty big room, there were two big beds and one cot. Cot. Heh heh. That was mine. Then we had pizza for another ‘dinner’ and pop. giving pop to four girls that are already hyper is not good. They all took thirty-minute showers and then I couldn’t get them to shut up and go to bed until about 2:30 in the morning.
That about concludes Day 1.
Day 2:
Got up at five thirty. After sleeping for about an hour. They all got up and then took another shower, then dried their hair (all four of them), straitened it, and spent an hour putting on their make-up. It was insane.
Then at six thirty we ate breakfast. Note to self: never eat Comfort Inn’s eggs. *shudder*. I could hear my roommates telling the boys about how I was throwing a *b*fit last night because they wouldn’t go to sleep. But it’s funny, on the bus after breakfast to our first destinations, I heard EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM complaining on how tired they were. Go figure, eh?
Anyway, I met a girl from Redlands, Calloway, so I hung out with her. Our first stop was the Vietnam memorial. It was really pretty, and really sad. Then we walked to the Lincoln memorial, which was incredible. He was HUGE.
Then we we went to Arlington National Cemetery. It was incredible, how far it stretched. It was also even sadder than the Vietnam memorial. We walked around for a while, just looking at all the gravestones. We saw JFK’s grave, and his wive’s and his brother’s. Then Mr. Mages (The lead guy, a teacher from Redlands), took the four kids (including me) that were going to lay the wreath on the tomb of the unknown soldiers to get changed into our nice clothes. I wore that beige skirt and brown tank top I wore to bon voyage, plus a jacket-like thing that matched the skirt and looked professional.
Then we went to where they were just starting the changing of the guards in front of the tomb. We waited for about twenty minutes, then a soldier came up to us four and told us what we had to do. The two kids from redlands were in front, and me and Cody were in the back. We then walked down some stairs, with me concentrating very hard not to step on the girl’s skirt in front of me. Then at the bottom we stopped and the two kids in front accepted the wreath and placed it on the tripod. Me and Cody just kind of stood there and watched. Then someone played taps on the trumpet and we walked back up.
That was it. Then we went to Buger King for lunch. Since World Strides was paying for us
, we could get as much as we wanted. I sat with Craig, Cody, Taylor, Greg, and Stephani. Craig had three double cheeseburgers, two large fries, and two large drinks. It was so gross. But he ate it all, and then some. After that we went on the subway to the Smithsonian American history and natural history complexes. They were pretty cool. I got a sweet republican tie there, and wore it for the rest of the day.
After that we went back to the bus and went to a Chinese place for dinner. It was ok…and I was kind of hyper so I was doing these weird things with my empty pop can and chopsticks. Nothing gross, just kind of random. Then we went to the World War II memorial at about 6 or 7. That was one of my favorite places. It was so pretty, with the sun going down and the fountains. Then we went back to the hotel and my roommates once again took forever to shower. But they settled down by about 11:30, thankfully.
Day 3:
I realized that redlands guys are so much hotter than fruita guys. It’s not fair. But hey- I’m going to high-school with them! YAY! Anyways, the next day we had to get up even earlier, since we hit some major traffic the day before. At breakfast I could stil hear my roomates gossiping on how much of a *b* I was. That was fun.
We went to a building for a tour of the capitol, but they had forgotten us or something, because we had to go through a ton of security for nothing. We also went to the Library of Congress, but the line was really long so we didn’t go inside. Then we got our group picture early in front of the Capitol building, and greg wouldn’t stop pushing me into the kid next to me. I also found out I was the fourth shortest on the trip. That was heartening.
Then we went back to that building and finally got our tour of the capitol. We got there via this underground tunnel thing that connects a lot of the office buildings and supremes court places. The tour was really cool, the paintings were incredible. It was also really big. The tour guide was talking to me for a little while, I think she felt sorry for me because I walking alone. Great. Now I had the teachers and a tour guide feeling sorry for me. Just great.
Then we went to Union station for lunch. That was pretty good, I had pasta. I couldn’t see anyone I knew, and I doubted I could sit with them,� so I sat at a table near where the teachers and parents were. Could I BE any more of a loser? Then I trailed behind a few of the guys so I wouldn’t be alone. We went back upstairs and I got a coffee and the guys ditched me, so I drank my coffee next to Mrs. Fisher, taylor’s mom. My list of people feeling sorry for me was getting pretty long. Dang it all.
After lunch, we went to one of the Smithsonian air and space museums. I followed Craig and Greg around mostly, which was entertaining, because every time we saw a missle or a gun they ran over to it and drooled all over the display glass. Just kidding about the drooling part, but they were getting close. We went to the gift shop, and Craig wanted one of those orange jump-suit things that look like the ones that astronaughts wear, so he asked the cashier if they had adult sizes. They didn’t.
After that we went to dinner at Medieval Times. It was so cool. There was a huge arena thing in the middle, with stadium seats surrounding it. there were six sections of the stadium, blue (that was us), yellow, red and yellow, black and white, green, and red. Each section had a knight, (ex. blue knight, yellow knight, etc.), and there was this sort of play thing. There was a king, a princess, a traitor, knights(duh), and other people. The food was kind of gross, but you mostly ignored that and watched the show. They were having a tournament, so the knights would square off and stuff. When they were just walking or riding around (they even had real horses), the knights would throw flowers into the crowd(their section). The blue knight looked at me, kissed the flower, and threw it to me. That was the highlight of my trip.
Then we went back to the hotel, and most people went swimming, but I stayed in my room and finished my book and started another one. That night people kept calling us and hanging up, so I was not happy.
Day 4:
We had to get up early again, which sucked. I had taken a shower the night before, so I was good and fresh at least. We waited in line for Fords Theatre for about an hour, but it was worth it. We got to see where Lincon was shot, the bloody pillow he died on, and the dude that killed him. It was all pretty powerful.
Then we went to the Hard Rock Cafe gift shop, looked around there, then got to shop near where it was. I got some stuff for my brother. Then we went to lunch at this Trade Center thing, and I hung out with Taylor and Cody.
We went to the Halocaust Museum after that. It was very disturbing, not being sarcastic. It was hard not to cry.
These people were so…so sick. That’s all I can say about it. Then we went to the National Museum of Health and Medicine. That was sick too, but in a different way. Somewhere in there we went too the White house to take pictures through the fence. I don’t remember when we went…
Then we went to Armands(a pizza place) for dinner. I met Logan there. He’s so hot it isn’t fair. I ate dinner with him, cody, taylor, greg, and andother kid from redlands. He took Sam’s drink when she left for the bathroom ,and put peppers and parmesean in it. The moms caught him, so he couldn’t give it back to her. It sat there for a while, then he said he would drink it for a buck. So I took him up on that. He chugged it, and it was disgusting, and I paid him a dollar. He spent a lot of time in the tour bus’s bathroom afterwards…
Then we went to FDR’s memorial. A bunch of girls came over to Greg and Logan and took their pictures, because they thought they were “totally hot”. Then they both flirted with them for a while. It was so funny. Me and Craig just kind of stood there and laughed our heads off. That night Stephani was on the phone with the boys for about thirty minutes and broke up with Cody and let me tell you, she does NOT have a very quiet voice.
Day 5:
Got up at five thirty, cuz it was our last day and we had to pack everything up and get our room inspected. My stuff was all packed, but my roomates crap was spread all over the floor. And the sink. And the tables. And under the beds. Tee hee. Sucks for them. But they finally got it.
Once again they were gossiping about me flipping out when they wouldn’t get off the phone. I was really starting to hate them…
After that we took the bus too the dock on the Potomac to take a boat to Mount Vernon.(George Washington’s home). On the boat I stuck with craig, greg, cody, taylor, and later, logan. Once again, Logan and Greg found girls to flirt with, and got their pics taken… but this time they also got email adresses. then the girls were all over taylor and cody, who also got emails. That was also extremely funny. The girls were kind of rude though.
At Mount Vernon, we toured the whole place, but when we got to the mansion, there was a half-mile long line. So we didn’t tour that, we just left. Then we went to lunch at some place that had burgers and really good brownies. It was pretty good, and I sat with the guys again. Ooooh…and also, Logan sat with me on the bus away from mount vernon, to lunch, and to the next two destinations. Cuz I was near the people he wanted to talk to, and I was the only person not sitting with anyone, but still…I was flattered. He asked me to hold his drink twice.
Next stop was the National Archives, where I saw the declaration and the constitution. Then we went to the Zoo and saw pandas, which were erally far away, giraffes, which were way far away, and elaphants, which were way far away. And that took a grand total of *drumroll* FIFTEEN MINUTES.
Then we went to the airport. On the flight I ended up between two boys from Redlands, but they were both pretty cool. I bought an in-flight movie, Eght Below, which was pretty good. Then I tried to sleep, which didn’t work, so I talked to the kid next to me. When we got to Denver, everyone was pretty much fed up with each other, Greg was cussing everyone out, and the bus wasn’t there yet.
Finally, it got there, and we drove to the nearest Taco Bell, where we stayed for 1 and a half hours, because they messed up our orders. Then we got back on the bus and started home. Cody came back and sat with me because his seat didn’t recline. When we got home, it was three thirty in the morning and we were all asleep, but we were home. Finally.
And that is Bri’s DC Adventure.
*applause*