[Day 69] The Clarity of Confusion

Just so no one freaks out: I’m switching Monday and Thursday of this week because I really want to write about what happened today.

One of my friends recently traveled to a different state to visit her significant other in college. She’d been excited about the trip for a good while now, and everyone who knew her was excited as well, because her attraction to him was so genuine. It was a four day weekend, the perfect opportunity for her trip. She was scheduled to arrive home on Sunday afternoon.

However, today (Monday), she was nowhere to be seen. My friends and I were curious as to the reason for this, having not heard from her. I texted her whilst enjoying a cheese stick and homemade biscuit during lunch in my AP Lit classroom. Yes, I’m that cool. Finally, ten minutes before class started, I got a response. The *insert angry, unpleasant noun here* significant-other had dumped her at the airport on her way home, and she’d opted to stay at home to recover for a day.

Needless to say, our circle of friends was furious. The conversation quickly progressed to threats and plans of revenge. But then I got an idea, and quickly relayed it to everyone else. More destruction wasn’t the answer; it was time to start the healing.

So I ditched debate, which wouldn’t have done any good anyways seeing as my distraught friend is my partner, and drove to the nearby City Market. I went directly to the flower display, and was immediately surprised how expensive even a small bouquet costs. But knowing the feeling of chronic loneliness that comes with these situations, I grabbed the most perky bunch and paid the ten dollars without hesitation. Then, along with two of our other friends, I drove immediately to her house.

The look on her face as I approached with the colorful clump of flowers is one that I’ll never forget. I almost cried with her, seeing the mix of mingling pain and honest gratitude. Seeing people in pain hurts me to the core, but I don’t think anyone has ever cried in front of me (except for that one time when I was in elementary school and a girl I spent the night with cried when her mom tried to brush her hair because it hurt). My friends are just as reluctant as I am to show feelings in public, so seeing on in this much pain, ignoring her usual demeanor, was awful. But after the two hours we spent with her, I could see a visible difference. We may not have done much for her other than making her laugh, buying her flowers, chocolate, and voodoo dolls, and listening to her story, but I could see how much it helped.

If I can make even one person feel a little less alone, then I have done good unto this world.

And now I’m tearing up in a bookstore cafe. Have a brilliant day, everyone, and remember; even if you only have one or two good friends, you will never, ever be alone.

Let’s take what hurts and write it all down

On these paper walls, in this empty house

And when the ink runs out, we’ll burn it to the ground

Here I am, still hold onto this

Dream we had, won’t let go of it

Hear me now, and

You will never be alone.

–Yellowcard, Paper Walls