Girls are sometimes cowards too

This is a followup post to my “boys are cowards” blog from Friday because I’ve gotten a substantial response and there are a few things I’d like to address.

The first thing is the nature of my failed relationships. My friend Ben asked if it was on purpose, that I broke up with the boys the way they asked me out. And upon rereading my post, I realize it does sound like that a bit. So I guess the first thing is really my defense.

Mike, my first boyfriend, mister instant messenger, and I broke up three times before we were finally done for good. The first time was a week after we’d started dating, and we hadn’t even hugged. That was a mutual, in person breakup that lasted for about a weekend. Then we got back together. Then, several weeks and hand holdings later, on the day of a dance (I know, it wasn’t my fault) it occurred to me that I didn’t actually like like Mike, I just liked being liked. So I took him aside at lunch and told him I thought we should just be friends. Then he wore me down over that weekend before I finally gave in again.

The third and final time we broke up was actually unplanned. We were instant messaging on the Wednesday before a four day weekend (Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, if that wasn’t clear). Mike was the type of clingy boyfriend that called me about every two hours, and I was starting to get really sick of it. Plus, there was this other guy I was starting to fall for (but more on that in a second). So I asked him, quite reasonably I thought, if I could have some space that weekend. I asked if we could just not talk for those four days so I could sort some things out in my head.

At first, I thought he was receptive. But then he started hassling me about “what way I was leaning” even though I’d never said I was considering dumping him, and then he started saying things about how “if you’re doubting it then maybe we should just end it” and finally I just got so annoyed with him I was like “yeah, you know what? You’re right. Let’s end it. There.”

Of course, then he freaked out and didn’t talk to me for a year, but that’s another story. Which brings me to boyfriend #2.

Cody. We started dating officially the day after freshman year ended, and I broke up with him the month after sophomore year went the same way. We didn’t have the same difficulty Mike and I had, breaking up and getting back together, but there was another issue with my need to get out of the relationship. See, Cody couldn’t yet drive, and I hadn’t been driving long enough to drive other people. Also, it was the summer, so the only time we saw each other was when I drove somewhere and his parents dropped him off at the same location or when I drove over to his house.

That left me with very limited options. I couldn’t ask to meet in a central location like a coffee shop to talk because that would mean his mom would have to drop him off and then pick him back up again after being dumped. But I also couldn’t just show up at his house to dump him, because again, his parents would be there and that would just be awkward. Especially because his dad already didn’t like us dating because I wasn’t tall, thin, or blonde enough. Not even joking.

So I broke up with him over the phone while sitting cross legged on my best friend’s bedroom floor. I’ll admit it wasn’t my finest hour, but it was another one of those things that I just had to get over with in whatever way possible.

With my defense of my actions out of the way, this leads us to thing that needs to be addressed #2: girls are cowards too.

One of the many enraged boys who read, or at least snarled at the title of that blog, made an interesting point. If I’m so unenthusiastic about the way the boys in my life have chosen to make their moves, why don’t I do it myself? Girls can ask boys out too.

To which I’d like to say… fair enough. Times are a’changing, and I’m not entirely blameless. (However, I would just like to make it known that I had to trick Mike into our first kiss because he was too nervous to do it himself. So… there.)

If I ever ask a boy out, fine, you all have my word I’ll do it in person. But I doubt it’ll ever happen. Once I’m aware of someone’s interest in me I’m as confident as anyone, but I’ve been misled too many times before and I don’t trust that someone actually likes me until they say it straight out. Also, it’s a damn small school and the likelihood of running into a failed date is higher than getting an STD in a brothel.

That was graphic. Sorry.

Anyways. Hope you’re enjoying Eugenia, because there are only a couple installments left before it’s officially complete. Also, if I can find some time tomorrow, I’ll start editing and narrating my Budapest videos, so hopefully they’ll start coming out this Thursday and beyond. See ya!