I started watching Glee way back when the pilot came out, back when there was a little hype and a lot of “yeah it’s like a musical in 45 minutes” going around. At first, I’ll admit. I enjoyed it a lot. It was a new show format, the characters were fun and crazy, and overall it was a decent way to spend 45 minutes. But let’s get real, everyone. The writing on this show is not particularly impressive. The story lines are cheesy and cliche and the behaviors of many of the characters make about as much sense as Donald Trump running for president.
This is my character-by-character analysis of the show and what I think they need to do in order to cling to their audience for another season.
Rachel: We get it. She’s a fame-crazy nutcase who loves Finn and is crazy. Did I mention that? That she’s crazy? Because she is. Completely, absolutely crazy. And it’s getting tired. I like what they’ve been doing- giving her friends and lines that aren’t totally self centered, but I feel like it’s kind of cheap in regards to character development. Ok, so she’s slightly less crazy nowadays, but it’s been two seasons. Let the girl have an episode where we as an audience don’t want to collectively slap her in the face!
Finn: Oh God just let it end. I don’t care about Finn and his “meh” singing ability and his towering height and his dumb smile. He isn’t a good enough singer to waste so much valuable air time on as a character. Why is he the lead again? He might just be the dumbest guy in the world. Let’s recap. At the beginning of the series, he was dating Quinn and wanting desperately into her pants, but she was a good Christian and always denied him. Then Finn’s best friend got her drunk on wine coolers and knocked her up. Then she had the baby. Then he dated Rachel, who at one point in a jealous tizzy (for something I don’t really remember) also cheated on him with aforementioned best friend. So they broke up. Then Finn starts cheating with Quinn on her new boyfriend, Sam, who she was really adorable and sweet with, and now they’re dating again even though sometimes he inexplicably can’t keep his eyes off of Rachel. …what? I DON’T CARE. STOP PUTTING HIS STORIES IN THERE. I’M DONE WITH FINN.
Mr. Shu: *shudder* Mr. Shu gives me the creeps. He’s only a couple years older IRL than some of his on-show “students.” Just something about him makes me cringe. He looks weird when he lip syncs and I don’t really like him as a character all that much. Cool, he’s an ex-Glee member with the occasional delusion of grandeur. Also he’s a Spanish teacher with stiff curly hair. I just find him incredibly creepy and I wish they’d stop spending so much time on his boring home drama. Your wife went crazy and pretended to be pregnant and then you got divorced and now you drool over the OCD guidance counselor. I. Don’t. Care.
Quinn: Augh. Same as Finn, I’m kind of over Quinn as a character, and like Rachel, I don’t think she’s been given enough character development. Also, did we just kind of forget that she was PREGGERS last season? I feel like that’s one of the only interesting things about her, so why don’t we talk about that more? I get that she’s trying to distance herself from the shame, but having a baby isn’t something you just do and then move on from. It’s deeply emotional, even if it was an accident, it will change you forever. So why is she still a raging bitch? Also, does she not hang out with Brittany and Santana anymore? They were all tight as cheerios, but now… Quinn mostly just cheats on people and her two ex best buds make out. Do the writers realize that this means Quinn has pretty much… 0 friends? Hm.
Artie– I feel like we don’t hear enough from Artie. Maybe they think because he’s in a wheelchair we’ll forget he doesn’t actually have anything interesting going on about him other than the fact that he’s apparently the go-to rapper of the club. I’m sorry, what? It’s definitely new, but… really?
Tina– Do we know anything about Tina, other than she loves Mike Chang so much she sometimes cries when she sings about him? Weird. Give her more air time. I’m done with the whiny white kids for now.
Mike Chang- Even the characters on the show don’t just call him “Mike.” He’s the designated pop-and-lock-er. We might actually know less about him than we do about Tina. Change that. I find him amusing.
Brittany– Brilliant, hillarious character. Don’t change a thing, but if you must… let her perform more. Singing and dancing wise. She’s fantastic at both, and one of the most well-rounded talents on cast. CAPITALIZE ON THIS!
Santana– I like where they’ve been going with her character, what with giving her a reason for the crazy. As with Brittany… let her sing more. She’s got a really great voice and I think everyone would appreciate a little less Rachel and a little more Santana.
Puck– He’s also a fun character, and we see a lot less of him this season, which is a shame. He’s HOT. I’m over his thing with Lauren, though, because it’s a little too weird for me. Also, I feel like he also needs to be reminded every once in a while that, biologically, he’s a freaking FATHER. I like his friendship with Artie, though. It’s unexpected but actually kind of works. They need to do more with it, though.
Lauren– New character, meant to be a little cringe-inducing. Eh. Stop giving her so many lines, I don’t care enough about her story to want to hear her blab all the time.
Mercedes– WHY DOES SHE NOT SING MORE?? She might be the best singer on the dang show, and yet we always seem to forget that because she gets a song maybe once every three episodes. Augh.
Kurt– I am so DONE with Kurt as a victim. Boo hoo. You were bullied and then you moved schools and then you moved back because you’re a spineless sob story. I understand they want to make Kurt more than the stereotypical sassy gay friend, but honestly, his being the constant-victim is almost worse. I want them to turn him into something of an Ugly Betty’s Mark. He’s sassy and confident and funny, yes, which Kurt has the potential to be, but he also has a well-rounded back story and is interesting as a character. (I miss that show so much please bring it back)
Darren Criss (Blaine)- I love you more than life itself. I don’t care that you’re basically the only Warbler that sings. You’re wonderful and beautiful and they should give you more airtime. (SHIRTLESS airtime. Amiright?)
Sue– Keep her as she is.
Sam– I actually really like Sam as a character, poor guy, especially now that football season is over. He seems like he’s genuinely nice, a new one for this show. Give him a girl, he deserves it.
Korovsky– I dunno how to spell his name. He’s Kurt’s bully, and I’m over him. He can’t sing or dance and he’s really just an annoying side story I couldn’t care less about. Songs or GTFO.
Did I cover everyone? I think I covered everyone.
I didn’t know you watched Glee! =D
Ditto on the Finn-Quinn-Rachel love triangle. Also, I think Finn’s lead just because he was one of the original guys, can dance around( even though I’m pretty sure Artie is a better dancer IN a wheelchair than Finn is out of one), and he has the typical guy sounding voice (Kurt can sing beautifully, but it’d be pretty fail to hear him sing AC/DC or The Doors). Honestly I think Puck and Artie are the best guy singers in New Directions, but we can’t have epic love triangliness when they sing duets with Rachel so obviously they don’t get to sing as much /facepalm.
Brittana is the one thing I’ve consistently liked about this show since they actually seem to care about getting it right without making a huge deal out of it, like they did with Kurt. Kurt also kind of annoys me with his stereotypicalness. Like in the office scene with Karofsky recently where, when Karofsky had no idea who some Broadway character was, Kurt said he had some major learning to do. Yeah, like every gay guy is in love with musical theatre and fashion /dope-slap
Puck/Lauren, I have to admit, is somewhat adorable if only because of Puck no longer being the guy who knocked his best friend’s girlfriend up.