Inevitably, unless you’re super rich or something, you’re going to have to live with a roommate or roommates at some point in your lifetime. During college, you might end up having multiple different ones, and trust me, not all of them are going to be picnics. However, though you cannot change your roommates, you can change how you act as one, and maybe you’ll set a good example! Either way, follow these tips, and you will never be the roommate everyone else hates.
Step One: Wear headphones. Whether you’re watching a YouTube video, listening to music, or doing whatever the hell else you kids are up to these days, wear headphones. Unless your roommates are watching with you or you’re doing the dishes and want a little music to help along the process, no one wants to hear whatever you’re listening to. Most likely, they’ll be listening to their own things, or they’ll be trying to do homework, or they think the song you’re listening to is super annoying, or, even worse, they’re trying to sleep. There is no reason you should ever need to listen to anything without headphones when other people are sleeping. Respect that there are other people in the apartment or house.
Step Two: Do your dishes. If you have a kitchen, which, if you have multiple roommates, you probably do, DO YOUR DISHES. I cannot stress this enough. It is so obnoxious to walk into your kitchen and be unable to cook or eat or clean your own stuff because your roommates have filled the sink. It’s disgusting and easy to fix. If you wash your stuff right after you use it, not only will it be easier to wash stuff off of it, but you’ll also be doing literally everyone else in the vicinity a favor. Once, our dishes got so out of hand, Colton would take the Febreeze from the bathroom and spritz the kitchen a few times a day. Yuck.
Step Three: Clean the rest of your crap up. Or, at least, the crap in the common areas. Honestly, if you don’t share a bedroom with anyone, do what you want with that area, but in the kitchen/living room/bathroom areas? Don’t be a slob. This isn’t to say that you have to clean the toilet bowl out every time you go to the bathroom, just be aware that there are other people using this space and they don’t want to have to move your crap to go about their own day. If the common area is often messy, maybe set up a cleaning schedule with your roommates so everyone pitches in to keep it clean. BONUS TIP: You shouldn’t have to be asked to clean up. You should just do it.
Step Four: Don’t be stingy about necessities.If the apartment needs toilet paper and you’ll be near the store, go pick up the damn toilet paper. Don’t pull the “I paid for it last time” crap, or ask everyone to pitch in a dollar to pay for the freaking toilet paper. Just go get it. More than likely, the costs related to keeping an apartment habitable will even out, between groceries, bus fare, etc. If you do feel that you’re spending more than the rest of your housemates, just say something, but don’t be a jerk about it. Try “Hey, I noticed I’ve been picking up the tab a lot lately. Do you think we could try and spread the cost around a bit more?” instead of “Could, like, one of you guys pay once in a while? I’m not your mother.” Passive aggression rarely gets results.
Step Five: If one of your roommates has a car, don’t make the mistake of thinking they’re not your chauffeur. Having at least one roommate with a car can be great: grocery trips are easier, you can go into town more often, and you can even take short day or weekend trips. But this person probably pays for their own gas and might not always want to cart you around for your various activities. Offer to pitch in for gas, or try to plan your appointments and shopping trips around their preexisting plans. Or, better yet, just use public transit sometimes. Sure, it’s not as convenient, but it will also prove you’re not just friends with them for the car. Alternatively, if you’re the roommate with the car, don’t withhold the use of said car just because occasionally it’s inconvenient. If nothing else, let your roommates just borrow the car for a little while (that is, if you trust them) so you don’t have to chauffeur them.
Step Six: If you have a problem, talk about it. This past year, we had one roommate in particular who was kind of a horrible person to live with. Messy, inconsiderate, and cheap, it got heated a lot. But what we all realized is that, though this roommate wasn’t the best case study, communication is key. If something about your living situation is getting on your nerves, call a room meeting, or take the offender aside. Passive aggressive action like leaving their dirty dishes in front of their bedroom door or leaving nasty post it notes might be easier in the short term, but it rarely gets good results. The issue can be dealt with if you just calmly describe the problem and offer to help come up with a solution. An apartment or a dorm is a shaky ecosystem, so whatever you can do to keep the peace, do.
Step Seven: If you have visitors, clear them with your housemates first. Don’t be afraid to bring friends or family back to the dorm, even to stay the night, but make sure to tell your roommates about it. There’s nothing more awkward than emerging from your room at 7am to find strangers camped out on your couch. Usually, your roommates will be fine with having guests, but give them a head’s up. It’s their place too. In addition, if you and your friends, or, as the case may be, significant other are going to be up late, be respectful of your roommates and their sleep cycles.
Step Eight: Don’t be an asshole. Honestly, it’s as simple as that. Your roommates might be a little messier or a little louder than you would like, but at the end of the day, you’re kind of stuck with them, and you might as well try to keep the room happy. Sometimes it will suck, and sometimes you’ll feel like tearing your hair out in frustration, but it’ll be ok, especially if you’re friends with your housemates. The bottom line is, don’t be a jerk. Be respectful of the cleanliness and order of the room and as long as you keep that up, your roommates will probably follow suit. If not, then maybe you should consider new roommates.
If you follow all these steps, congratulations! You’re probably an OK, if not AWESOME roommate! Happy living!
