A couple weeks ago I posted a blog about how not to be hated by your barista, and in that blog I mentioned one of my favorite things about being a barista is my regular customers. The coffee shop I work at is in a predominately residential/office area, so about 85% of our customers are regulars, and some of those people are just the best. Today, I’m gonna talk about them more specifically, because of how grateful I am that in a sea of incompetency and rudeness, some of my regulars are just lovely.
1. Fetus cappuccino guy
This guy works in the area and might have the best sense of humor out of anyone who has ever entered the cafe. He has a delightful Swedish accent and is always friendly and happy to see us. We call him “fetus cappuccino guy” because once, by accident, a fellow barista made him his standard drink (a double shot cappuccino with whole milk) with latte art that vaguely resembled a fetus. He was beyond thrilled, and now demands some kind of fetus in his drink every time. The image to the left was today’s incarnation.
Me: “It’s a full-grown toddler!”
Him: “Aw, look at him! Well, as long as it’s still in the womb!”
Me: “Yeah, he’s just a late bloomer.”
Him: “He’s so big! Maybe he ate his twin in the womb.”
Me: “That’s the only explanation I can think of.”
2. Large Soy Latte Guy
Large soy latte guy has been a regular at the shop probably since before I started working there, so I’ve known him possibly the longest of any regular. At my cafe, the only difference between a cappuccino and a latte is the size (in this case, the amount of milk used in the drink), but we still get tons of people coming in ordering “large cappuccinos” despite that not technically being a thing. This guy used to be one of those people, always ordering a large soy cappuccino, until I decided to set him straight. He came in enough, he was friendly enough, and I made it my mission to set him straight. Even if I wasn’t specifically out front, if I heard him order the wrong drink, I would come out and reprimand him, to his great amusement. He’s mostly learned now, and is always ready with a smile and a quip for me in the morning. Large soy latte guy was the first person I told about my promotion to assistant manager, and he looked so genuinely happy for me I could hardly stand it.
3. Double Espresso/Double Americano Guy
That’s a really long nickname. Let’s call him Patrick, because he kinda looks like a Patrick. Anyhoo. “Patrick” works with fetus cappuccino and large soy latte guy (I’m pretty sure) and is also just a generally pleasant person to be around. He oscillates between getting either a double espresso or a double americano, so nowadays all I have to do is hold up an espresso and a medium cup, he points and smiles, and I make him his drink without a word. Once, he came in and ordered a quadruple espresso, and I very seriously asked him if everything was ok. He admitted he hadn’t slept much the night before and it was already a long day at work, but that he was fine. He was touched that I was concerned, though, and now it’s a running joke that I keep checks on his caffeine intake.
4. Event Lady
This is a woman that isn’t a REGULAR regular, but she comes in enough that I’m counting her on this list. She first came into the cafe during the summer, when I was brand spanking new and completely useless. She had been walking by the store and realized it would be perfect for an event she needed to plan, and for the next few months came in frequently to plan her event and to just hang out and work on her computer. She knew my name from the very beginning, and always chats with me a little while when she comes in. She is absolutely lovely, and a few weeks ago, she brought her husband in for a working brunch and made a point to introduce us. I’m just the nice barista who helped connect her with the people who could actually help her plan her event (which was held about two months ago and was apparently a great success). There need to be more people like her in this world.
5. Money Bags
Money Bags works in the area and is one of my favorite customers to joke with. A few months ago, he came in and had to pay for a relatively small order with a $100 bill, and as he handed it to me I noticed his billfold had several other large bills like it. Since he was already a regular and we were already on good terms, I joked about his having robbed a bank. He explained in good humor that something was wrong with his bank account and so he had to exclusively pay in cash for a while, thus requiring him to take out large amounts of money at a time. I told him that I preferred my explanation, where I could imagine him tip-toeing out of a bank with large bags of money with a “$” stamped on them, like in a cartoon. He was amused by this image as well, and to this day, even when he pays with a $5, I still call him Money Bags. Once, on my walk to the bank to make a deposit for the store, he was walking into his office building (which was on my way), and he made a point to get my attention and wave before heading inside, even though he hadn’t been to the cafe that day.
Honestly, I could list at least twenty more people, but then this blog would be novel-length and I would lose my [admittedly miniscule] audience. The point is, despite having to deal with an awful lot of awful people, I also have the privilege to serve coffee and food to some truly wonderful people. There are several of my regulars who, for the first few months I worked there, were polite yet stone faced or even surly, but as soon as I learned their orders, their personalities changed completely. Now they come in with a smile- seeing me and my having their order already made is not just a business transaction, but an enjoyable pit stop during their day. That honestly makes all the high maintenance, rude, and unreasonable customers worth it, just to get reminded that good people exist.
