One more down

Recently, another LGBT teen killed himself after negative words were thrown at his sexuality. This has brought about another wave of concerned parents and educators and politicians trying to promote love and acceptance. No offense to any of them, as I think their intentions are noble, but promoting love and acceptance is a lot of crap.

It really pains me to say it, because I’ve been attempting to be less negative lately in my hatred of transcendentalists (long story), but seriously. Does anyone really believe that we can make this group of stupid people see the light? Does anyone honestly think that any amount of talk is going to completely eradicate bullying, even if it isn’t as serious as the bullying we’ve seen in the past month’s headlines?

Of course not. No matter how hard we try, people are always going to hate other kinds of people. Maybe we can force these idiots into the minority, and maybe we can try and outbreed them*, but they will always be there. There will never be a place where someone isn’t teased or picked on.

So here’s my proposition. Instead of promoting the end of bullying, which is like promoting the end of eating meat (ie. impossible), we need to start strengthening the response to such actions. The best offense is a strong defense.

You know how I got through public school? I kept my head down, kept my mouth shut, kept my journal open, and dreamed of college. And guess what? I’ve never had thoughts of suicide. Shit got heavy sometimes, but I kept going. No one really taught me this response; in all honesty, there were times where I had just as much reason to end my own life as some of these kids we see in the news. So why didn’t I?

Well, first of all, I knew it would get better. I’ve made a video on this, so we’ll glaze over that for now.

Second of all, I developed this mindset that didn’t allow things people said to penetrate too deeply. In essence, I built walls. Big, multilayered walls. Walls made of cement and brick and sweat and sadness. Now that I’ve transcended public school, I’ll admit it’s been hard to deconstruct these walls, as they’ve become very much a part of who I am, but they served their purpose well.

What kids who are bullied have to realize is that people who bully hate themselves. They may not be conscious of this hate. They may never be fully conscious of this hate. But trust me. They do.

When someone calls you fat or ugly, they’re vain and terrified of losing their aesthetic. They are projecting their shallow fears onto your through anger and aggression.

When someone tells you that you have no friends and that you are a loser, they’re petrified of being alone. They’ve spent too much time in their own heads and hate it there. They put you down so that they can feel superior to something. They get attention for doing this to you, especially when they do it in public places, and they thrive on that attention. They are lonely, and anytime someone looks at them is a victory in their mind.

When people hit you, or kick you, or throw things at you, they have no words to express their hatred because they don’t understand. They are so confused as to why you’re different and why they feel so inadequate and so they brutalize you out of fear of the unknown.

And when someone calls you a faggot, or a fairy, or butch, or something else derogatory towards a group of people united by their sexuality, they hate your freedom to set yourself apart. They have spent their entire lives defining themselves by the people around them, and you don’t fit into their normal pattern, and they panic. Everything that they are is tethered to someone else, and when you don’t act like the majority of someone elses, they can’t take it. They have been taught and molded to believe one thing, and you’re presenting another. Their tiny minds can’t comprehend this. They lash out in their terror. And in the end, no one is really happy. They’ve created an environment of fear and pain and guilt and that’s never going to go away.

Stop trying to make people love each other. Mention it, but don’t focus on it so much. Some people don’t have the capacity for tolerance. Teach these fragile victims how to keep themselves going. Teach them how to build a wall. Teach them how to love themselves no matter what people try to tell them that they are. Teach them that there is beauty in everything, and that nothing should ever be seen as final. There’s always something to see, to hear, to love, to be.

*I’m totally kidding. Overpopulation is going to lead to the apocalypse. That and deforestation. FYI. Stop having babies, people. Seriously. You’re not helping anyone.