1. Write 5 new projects. Be them short films, web series pilots, TV pilots, audio dramas, or a play, I want 5 brand new things written in 2019. 5 scripts doesn’t count unless they’re from 5 different projects.
2. Host 3 table reads. Since I’m stepping back a bit from producing this year, I’m going to miss my actor friends. So in order to focus on my writing but also keep my creative, talented friends involved, I want to host at least 3 table reads for 3 unique projects in 2019.
3. Post one blog and one YouTube video a month. I really did try last year, but it got away from me. This isn’t an insane ask, though, so let’s try again.
4. Cook dinner at least twice a week. Quinn has taken a lot of the burden of cooking for us- when he doesn’t, we order out, and that’s not fair or healthy. Plus, I used to love cooking! I want to recapture that this year.
5. Start or end my day active at least three times a week. No excuses 2019.
6. Release and submit for festivals both projects I have in post. I filmed two major projects in 2019, and they both deserve a shot at glory and laurels. This is my pledge to actually put them into the world.
7. Leave New York at least 4 times. Everyone knows I’m bad at boundaries and balance, so in 2019, I’m making an effort to live a less workaholic life. I have 2 guaranteed trips (DC in January and Christmas) that I’ll be out of the city for, so it’s unfair to just say “2” like the last few years. 
8. Save $2k. Last year I saved $1500, which was great, but I’m an adult who goes more into debt every time I make a student loan payment because of accrued interest, so I’m not in great financial shape. Savings will at least keep me, well, safe, in case something terrible happens.
9. Pick my battles. As I age, I get better at when my input or opinion is needed, but I’m also a naturally argumentative person. In 2019, I want to really analyse when a topic deserves a debate or when I should just let it go. 
10. Be a better adult. When I get overwhelmed or over-tired, I neglect important things like dishes and emptying the trash and cleaning my room and the bathroom. I am almost 27 years old- that’s gotta stop. Regardless of my exhaustion level, the dishes need to be done, and not just when company is coming over.

What are YOUR resolutions this year?  How did yours last year shape up? Let me know, and here’s to at least a pretty ok 2019!

Last year, I:

• Lost my job at MTV, a job I loved
• Moved apartments
• Released my short film and the second Brains Extended Universe project
• Attempted to film and release a new web series, called “Why Isn’t Bri Making A New Web Series?”
• Failed at that
• Went broke
• Wallowed in self pity
• Started working for Stareable, first for free, then part time, then full time
• Crowdfunded for two projects in one month
• Wallowed some more
• Shot and released Sam and Pat Are Depressed season 1

This year, I:

• Shot and edited a brand new short film (January)
• Spoke at a web series panel/screening in New Jersey (February)
• Moved apartments, unplanned (February)
• Produced the web series The Mother Lode (February-April)
• Produced the web series Stray (February-July)
• Organized a film festival from scratch (January-July)
• Spoke at a film festival in Toronto (May)
• Launched a podcast with Stareable (June)
• Crowdfunded for Sam and Pat season 2 (June-July)
• Produced and shot Sam and Pat season 2 (May-August)
• Started a podcast for Sam and Pat (July)
• Spoke on a panel at FlameCon (August)
• Hired as the digital media professor for my old grad program (August)
• Spoke at a film festival in New Jersey (September)
• Starred in a one-act play (October-November)
• Started a DnD podcast (October)
• Started planning another film festival from scratch (November)
• Hit 1000 followers on Twitter (December)

“I am dedicated to making this year my most creatively fulfilling one yet, and so far, I’m as on track as possible.” -Bri, January 2018

Last year, the only new thing I created was Sam and Pat, a show I love and that continues to bring me joy. But I made it late in the year, after a year of professional and financial setbacks that nearly overtook me. Yes, my short film and a Brains EU project came out last year, but both were already completed and just needed releasing, so they don’t count as “new.”

Last year, I was miserable. Trump was newly elected, I was newly laid off, and I was floundering. I wasn’t creating, I didn’t feel productive, and everything sucked.

This year, whatever the opposite of that happened. As you can see from that list, I was building something every month, whether it was a film project for me, a film project for someone else, a podcast, or a major work event. I traveled all over to speak at festivals and film schools, was hired as an adjunct, and despite that, I still only completed half of my New Years Resolutions. I wanted a busy 2018, and I got it, but I’m looking forward to calming the hell down next year.

I’ve never been great at balance. Some (much) of this years’ busy schedule was out of my control, but plenty came from choices I made. I am… exhausted. Yes, I feel better about this year than last year, but I am so, so tired. I need a break. I need a vacation! I haven’t had a vacation all year- every day I took off of work was spent working on something else. Half my weekends (probably more) were overtaken by meetings, being on set, traveling to speak somewhere, or post production. Not again.

Since Brains came out in 2015, I like to think I’ve proven myself in the indie production arena. I’ve made two seasons of Brains, two extended universe projects, two seasons of Sam and Pat, and two short films, all in three years. And that’s not counting the projects I’ve personally produced (Relativity, the first two episodes of Vloggers, History, The Mother Lode, Stray). But I think that that phase of my life is coming rapidly to an end, for two reasons:

1. My means haven’t changed. While every project has of course improved in production value and marketing strategy, I still have no real, sustainable way of paying my cast and crew, let alone myself. And I’m past the point of the “passion project” defense. I’ve got plenty of no-budget work that I’m proud of on my resume, but unless my means change, every subsequent project is going to be more of the same. 
2. I don’t want to be a producer. I really, really don’t enjoy logistics, particularly when it’s not my project. I love the work I’ve gotten to do, and the people I’ve gotten to help, but I do not love producing, and continuing to produce will only make it harder to do the work I actually want to do: write and direct. 

I don’t want to continue to make no-budget work, begging friends to volunteer their services, and go further into debt every time I do. That’s not getting me to the next stage of my career, and makes me a shitty friend. With very few exceptions, unless my means to pay people (including marketing people) increase, I’m taking off my producer hat for a while.

So what does this mean for 2019? You’ll see in more detail when I publish my new New Years Resolutions on the 1st, but as a teaser:

• More writing. Like, by a lot
• More table reads, to keep in touch with actor friends despite likely not seeing them on set
• Releasing two projects (Buy In and Sam and Pat season 2) and giving them a real shot at success with all that I’ve learned about marketing, film festivals, and more
• Even more writing. I’m a writer, I should be writing, and not just how-to blogs for work
• Vacations. I didn’t take any time off in 2018 that wasn’t explicitly for an indie production, and I can’t do that again. I need to actually take non-work time because being this tired all the time isn’t healthy

2019 will hopefully be defined by boundaries and balance, two things I’m The Worst At. Since there is no finish line in sight, I’m going to try not to put so much pressure on myself to become a household name by 30. I am enough as I am right now, and killing myself to hit a “more impressive” level of success by a “more impressive” age is short-sighted and dangerous.

I’m an adult. And I need to start acting like one.

I hate the word “boyfriend.” Have for years. Once Quinn and I passed the two year mark it stopped feeling descriptive of our relationship, especially as we transitioned to living together and making furniture and holiday travel decisions as a unit. “Boy”friend just feels infantilizing at this stage: we’re in our late 20s, have been together for almost 6 years, and have lived together in relative harmony for 3. For lots of reasons we aren’t married yet, so fiance and husband are off the table. As a result, basically since I moved to New York, I’ve been slowly but surely transitioning to partner when I’m identifying him. Continue reading “Partner” →

Bri: Can I interview you for my blog?

Quinn: Sure.

Continue reading “Needlessly Mooney” →

I think as liberals, especially liberals who are well-educated about discourse and rhetoric and identity who could be considered the “intellectual elite”, we often get the idea into our heads that if we just won the argument, those who disagree with us will finally come around. I can cite endless clips from comedy and straightforward news programs alike where a liberal reporter or correspondent interviews people on the street with simple questions designed to make them think about their preconceived notions differently. Like most viewers of these programs, I held my breath waiting for just one interview subject to notice how absurd they’re being. Spoiler alert: it never, ever works. And so we all feel superior and smug and work on new thought experiments to try again. But in watching the endless and yet also far too brief Supreme Court hearings these past few weeks, I remembered that that’s not how it works. It’s not that these powerful men don’t believe Dr. Ford. Even if the FBI investigation had been allowed to run its full course, the decision makers wouldn’t be any more or less convinced. It’s not about belief. They just don’t care. Continue reading “It’s not about belief” →

Been a pretty piss-poor month as far as productivity goes. And that includes no blogging! I’m the worst.

This is a housekeeping blog because I haven’t done a cop out housekeeping blog in a while. Here are all the things I have to do that I’m currently avoiding doing:

• Editing Sam and Pat Are Depressed season 2
• Finishing editing Buy In, a short film we shot in January
• Editing Bri And Chris Are Depressed, a podcast
• Writing blogs for this website
• Paying an invoice for a medical expense because they sent me a physical piece of mail, like I’m an OLD PERSON
• Cleaning my room
• Cleaning my bathroom
• Cleaning my whole apartment
• Grocery shopping
• Writing new scripts
• Finishing old scripts
• Organizing my budget again
• Planning an upcoming trip
• Finishing THIS blog (just took an hour break)

 

And probably more. Talked to my therapist last night about my tendency to only have two phases: so busy I never take a break or sleep or so unbusy I can barely get out of bed. No middle ground. Should probably work on that.

(better blog coming this weekend. Probably)

(read a better one from August here)

This post has been edited/updated as of June 1st, 2020, for many happy reasons.

I don’t know how to write about sexuality. I absolutely don’t know how to write about mine. Because for most of my life, and all of my dating life, I was, for all intents and purposes, a heterosexual woman. Continue reading “Out” →

We wrapped principal production on Sam and Pat Are Depressed season 2 today, almost exactly a year after we wrapped production on season 1, and I can’t quite wrap my head around that feat. We shot 48 pages of script in 4 days, which, for those of you outside the film industry, is “bananas,” to quote my DP Conor. We hit 100% on our little Seed&Spark campaign in 15 hours, then eventually hit 253%, which allowed us to splurge on things like more food for cast/crew on shoot dates, production design, wardrobe, and more. This season looks fricking incredible, and it’s because of this little community we’ve built, of friends new and old, and I’m so beyond grateful. As is common when I finish productions, this is a thank you blog. Continue reading “Sam and Pat Have Many More Friends Now” →