So. College.

Wow. I’m one final away from being done with my first year of college. That’s… bizarre. I’ve been dreaming about college ever since middle school, and I’m already one year in. Wow.

What I expected:

I had a lot of weird expectations for college. First, I expected there to be this pool of single, datable guys that I could just pick from at any given time. Second, I assumed all my classes would be incredible and thought provoking and fun. Third, I didn’t think I’d make any friends past my roommate.

What I got:

There isn’t a pool of single, datable guys I can just pick from at any given time. Relocating isn’t like Twilight wants you to think- not everyone will think you’re the freaking coolest most beautiful thing ever. You’re just one freshman in a sea of other freshmen, biding your time. Once I realized this, I had pretty low expectations for romance. And then in the past two months I’ve been hit on by five separate people, and I even made out with one of them (twice!) after only knowing him about two weeks. That’s not like me. That’s not like me at all. But you know what? I’m not an idiot, and I’m not a slut. I’m just a girl. A girl who has been kissed in the last two years. The best part is I don’t feel bad about myself because of it. It’s just kissing. I wasn’t emotionally attached, and he certainly wasn’t either. And that’s ok. Because I have other things in mind for my life.

My classes are not all incredible and thought provoking and fun either. Some of them are a lot of the time. But mostly, they’re just… classes. They’re both harder and easier than the ones I took in high school, but in the end, I’m still in school. Next year should be better- I’ll actually get to start taking classes for my major (and minor?).

Finally, though, friends. Friends. That was a hilarious concept to me for a while. I knew friend, singular. Rachel. Rachel was my friend. What, other people could make that word plural? WHAT? I didn’t have high expectations for myself here. I assumed I’d be good friends with my roommate and that’s about it. I don’t need other friends, I told myself. I’m here to get a degree and learn to be a responsible adult.

And then I went on my voyage and met Maya and Ellen. Even though Maya gradually stopped hanging out with us, Ellen and I got closer than ever. Then I met my neighbor Gavin, who turned out to be one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Then Gavin introduced Ellen and I to Alex down the hall, who then introduced us to Michelle. Michelle was in my FYS class, along with Gavin, Henry, and Desi. Then I signed up to have a radio show, where I met Dion, the guy who had his show after mine. I also joined the speech team, where I met Mark, David, Dan, Shane, Blaise, Lindsey, Lilly, Nicole, Colton, and Gustavo. Through speech meets I met Dalton, Laramy, Dalicia, and Chris. Then I met Kevin from down the hall, and Jackson from watching a movie, and Michael from class (and Dion). Throughout the year I got more acquainted to the people on my hall, including my roommate Jenn, Tiara, Aysia, Gabe, Rupa, Alex H, Sebastian, Michael H, and everyone else.

Before I knew it, I was taking walks at midnight, watching Borat and talking until 4am, going on weekend excursions to Portland with no plan, riding the transit after dark, dancing in my junior homecoming dress until 1am with strobe lights flitting across my bare arms, and screaming Disney songs on a swing set after not having showered for five days.

The best part about college is that people who become my friends seem to genuinely like me, something that, let’s be honest, doesn’t happen a lot to me. In high school, it seemed like most of the people I hung out with were only friends with me for convenience and lack of anyone better to sit with at lunch. They were passive aggressive, jealous, angry, and sometimes just plain nasty. Most of the time I would have rather pulled out my teeth than spend more time with them.

But here… here it’s different. Maybe it’s because we’re all out of place. Maybe it’s because people are more mature. Or maybe it’s just because the people I graduated with kind of sucked on the whole. It’s really freeing to realize that people aren’t like that for the rest of my life. And it’s even more freeing to realize that I might actually enjoy the next three years.

So. College. So far, so good.