This was created October 2nd of last year

(This is something I created right after Dylan made his little announcement. Geez. I thought it was kind of funny… and kind of sad.)WHAT COULD GET WORSE:

-I might lose the chance at being friends again

-I am an idiot

-I shouldn’t want this

-But oh, how I do

-I could prove him right about being strange and annoying

-I could get him to actively hate me instead of just ignoring me

-I could make things really awkward in Comp/Lit

-I could start crying in front of him

-I could show my weakness

-I can’t show him my weakness

-causes me to dwell on the situation

-won’t let myself move on

-I don’t want to lose touch completely. I don’t want to lose him. I am unwilling to give him up. I am unwilling to give up on our friendship. I don’t know what it is about him, but I know that it was good. It was stronger that I could have ever imagined, and I don’t know why. It’s killing me inside and I don’t know why. I don’t know why. He shouldn’t have this power over me, but he does. He has that power. I have given him that power, and now I have to take it back. There is no easy way out. I have to take back my will, and the ability to make my happiness myself. No more of this. NO MORE.

-I wish it were that easy. I wish I was stronger. I like to pretend that I’m strong, but I’m not. I’m not at all.

-Why am I not stronger? What has happened in this meaningless life that has made me so weak? What?

-This is no longer healthy. I need help. Someone get help.

-The emptiness will fade someday. Just not right now. Let me suffer for a little while

-But right now, the tears give way to emptiness. I am hollow. Completely hollow.

-I am empty. Brianna is gone. Who is this Bri person? It’s not me.

-Dylan’s right. I’m different. I’m changed. I’m weird and annoying.

“I’m done”

He’s done. It’s never been so final, not by him. I’ve told  him I was done thousands of times, but I could never stick by it. Now that he’s said it, it’s finally final. It’s the end of an era.

I’VE WASTED SO MUCH DAMN TIME THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE ANYMORE

I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE THIS IS SO STUPID I CAN’T BELIEVE I WASTED ALL THAT TIME HELPING HIM, BEING HIS FRIEND IT WAS ALL A WASTE IT WAS ALL USELESS THERE WAS NO USE IN IT AND THE WORST PART IS THAT I HAVEN’T LEARNED MY LESSON. IF HE APOLOGIZES, I’LL COME BACK TO HIM. I’LL HELP HIM AGAIN. I’LL BE HIS FRIEND AGAIN. I WILL. I CAN’T HELP IT. I HAVE TO BREAK THIS CURSE.

I SHOULD MOVE TO #CENSORED# CANADA. SEVER TIES