I watch their backs as my brother leads his girlfriend -in his awkwardlybsweet manor- to the stairs. The door closes softly behind them, and I realized how unbearably lonely I’ve become.
So that’s not entirely true. It’s not like I’m Princess Mia- desperate for a boyfriend… Or for anything at all. I’m just… Lonely.
And I’ll admit my lonliness is almost completely self-inflicted. After a long day, I want nothing more than to shut the door to my room and read. Or watch YouTube videos. After a long day, I just want to be alone.
But a the same time, I hate being alone. I’ve spent most of my life alone in some way or form.
And then I met Bart, who is leaving for boot camp on Monday, and who is possibly one of the two or three people that makes me want to come out of my shell.
Short notice, right? At least this time he told me in person. I got a text at lunch asking where I was, and there aren’t enough happy words to describe what I felt. Corny, yes, but also true.
When he walked into the room where I spend my lunch period, I jumped up and bruied my face into his chest, not letting go for a full thirty seconds. He held on just as long, because he knew I needed it.
And that was when I knew I’d forgiven him for his lack of contact all month. Because no matter what we go through, he always comes through. Sometimes it’s answering the phone when I’m upset, and sometimes it’s visiting me at school. So maybe I’m not so lonely after all. Just a bit introverted.
But that’s also kind of a lie. Because just because I have people like Bart in my life doesn’t mean that I am fulfilled. But that’s ok. Right now, I’m just happy to settle down with John Green’s latest book and shut the world out.
