Usher is doing an all ladies tour. “What better way to get up close and personal than to make it all women?”
Apparently, the 29 year old rapper believes that his new CD is very intimate, and in order to get closer to his audience, he thought an all-woman tour would be a good idea. Which seems weird, but hey, it’s Usher. No offense. (Take it. Take offense! Yell at me!)
But the intimacy issue isn’t the only pro of the tour. “The ladies like to see that masculine build,” he said. “They question if I still got it.” So apparently Usher is also questioning his masculinity and wants to be reassured by thousands of woman that he’s attractive, all at the same time. Yeah, read that again. Usher has masculinity issues. So he’s going on an all woman tour. Hm.
He also re-hired his mother as his manager, which suggests that he has fired her before. I’m sorry, but that just made me laugh. almost as hard as the masculinity issues.
When I’m a rock star (yeah, you know it’s coming), I’m gonna go on an all-man tour. and then sing about female issues like periods and childbirth so men and women can get “closer”. It’s like those videos they showed in fifth grade, how they separated the boys and girls and taught them about the other gender and sex. It’ll be like that, except more graphic and not as much about sex since most grown men know what that is.
If you would buy a ticket to my all man concert (ladies, I expect to see you trying to get in with fake beards), let me know and I’ll start scheduling my tour. (I think I’ll start in Greece and make my way around Germany….)
