It’s… going ok?

Resolutions: 2018 Edition

Produce 2 new projects I write to completion.- IN PROGRESS

Back in January I filmed my latest short film, co-written and co-produced by my buddy Colin Hinckley.

We also just completed crowdfunding for my second of the year, season 2 of Sam and Pat Are Depressed! That shoots… starting this weekend… so we’re on track!

 

Write a feature-length screenplay- PROBABLY AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN 

I’d love to be able to end the year with a new feature script, but this has been a challenging one to say the least, and given my workload at my day job (and the four projects I’m producing in full this year- the two I mentioned above and two that I was hired on earlier in the summer) I don’t see this happening. I could surprise myself, especially as I don’t have anything lined up post-August, but I’m also not gonna force inspiration that isn’t coming.

Post a blog twice a month and a personal YouTube video once a month.- PARTIAL FAILURE

I’ll definitely meet the blog post criterion, but I’ve already skipped… two months of videos. Well, vlogs. I’ve shot/edited around 20 videos in the past two months for the Sam and Pat crowdfunding campaign, so it’s safe to say I had other things going on. There was also a part of this resolution that had to do with doing more interesting shots in vlogs which also definitely is not happening.

Write 2 new TV scripts- one original pilot, one spec script.- IN PROGRESS

I’ll definitely have a new original pilot written unless I do nothing from now until January 2019, but I doubt I’m gonna get to the spec script. In terms of my personal creative/career priorities, like the feature screenplay, it might just not be my year.

Close caption all previous (and new 2018) projects – IN PROGRESS 

Brains, Sam and Pat season 1, and Relativity are all entirely closed captioned! What remains is Ace and Anxious, both Brains extended universe projects, and anything new I release online (might be Sam and Pat, might be Buy In, might be neither). This one I’m pretty confident I’m gonna complete. The hardest stuff is already over!

Save $1500 – IN PROGRESS

Savings so far: $1060

I’m on track AF!

Leave New York City at least twice.– COMPLETE

Trip #1: New Jersey to speak on a panel/ participate web series screening!

 

Trip #2: Toronto for work

Technically I also left the city for Hoboken for a web series shoot, and I will be home in Colorado before the end of the year as well. So DOUBLE completion!

Eat out less than three times a week and do something active every day.- FAILED

This happened for a little while, then work started piling up a pretty excessive amount and I had another infected ingrown toenail issue which made walking pretty painful, so I have not kept this up in a while. I wouldn’t say it’s entirely my fault, but it’s a little my fault, and it’s definitely a failure overall.

Take a photo every day- FAILED

Having a cell phone that makes a noise (that I cannot turn off without jailbreaking it) really hampers your ability to do this well, because taking photos in public, even of random stuff, is super embarrassing. I have definitely taken MORE photos this year than previously, but the letter of the law was not met, so this one is defo a failure.

Talk less, listen more.- IN PROGRESS

I feel like I’m doing alright at this? I definitely forgot this was a resolution, but in general I am making a concerted effort to talk less in conversations as I tend to be a bit of a bulldozer. I’ll keep a closer eye on this one for the rest of the year.

 

Final tally…

1 COMPLETE!

6 IN PROGRESS!

3 FAILURES/PARTIAL FAILURES!

Not great? But not terrible either. This year has been stressful in a way I’ve not ever experienced, which I’m sure I’ll write about next month when the main stuff is over. In the meantime, I should probably memorize my lines for Sam and Pat this weekend…..

 

*if anyone wants to help me CC Ace and Anxious, let me know!

Back in November 2017 I made very loud, public declarations that I would not be crowdfunding again for a good long time. In July 2018, in the final week of crowdfunding for yet another project, I am not sorry I caved. Sam and Pat means the world to me and the fact that we not only hit our initial (albeit relatively small) goal in 15 hours but have also over the course of the campaign suckered 35 people into helping us out is blowing my gourd.

Reasons why I believe in this project:

1. It’s simple and accessible. Discussions of mental health can often be heavy, but that doesn’t show the full spectrum of what living with mental illness looks like. I love that our show is small and simple and weird but still genuine and authentic.
2. My team is passionate and vulnerable when promoting it. It’s no secret that I miss Brains like a lost limb, but even when everyone was at their peak excitement for that show, our promotional efforts were more “we’re having a good time” than “we believe in this 100%.” This time, though, my team Went There with our promo videos, talking honestly about their experiences in therapy, their lives with depression, and I could not be more proud. They aren’t just on board because we’re all friends who like making things together. They’re on board because this is literally us. This is our experience. This is what we wish more people understood about us.
3. We’ve made a literal positive social impact. Not only have we gotten tons of enthusiastic feedback from the asexual community, thrilled that we’re making content featuring prominent ace characters, but at least one person has reached out to let us know that they’ve decided to pursue therapy again in part because of our show. I’m still beside myself knowing that email is in my inbox forever.
4. It’s so weird. And getting weirder. We’ve got 140 plastic easter eggs and a pack of fake mustaches on our props list for season 2. My character doesn’t obey the laws of continuity. Chris’s character might have a hostage. There’s a flashback in season one where I eat a full box of cereal with a giant wooden spoon while dramatic violin/piano music drones in the background. What’s not to love??

We’ve got a week left in crowdfunding, and though we’ve met our goal, it’s a pretty paltry one when you consider that for 2 episodes of another show I crowdfunded for/produced we raised $11,000 more. We’re making 9 episodes of Sam and Pat, plus 9 episodes of a companion podcast. No one is getting paid- we do this because we love it and we believe in it. Do you want to be part of the magic and also get a weird perk in return? Click here. There are price ranges for all. And if you’ve already joined up, thank you. Seriously. Thank you for believing in us and this show and what we’re trying to do.

Last month I had a work trip to Toronto. It was very exciting, because I’ve never been on a work trip and I’ve also never been to Canada NOR have I ever traveled internationally alone. The trip itself was fun by pretty low key. but it also made me think a lot about my job and the fact that confidence is largely performative.

Continue reading “Confidence is Nonsense” →

Sometimes I worry that the things I write/create and publicly promote are too weird. My short film Ace and Anxious (spoiler alert) ends with a visual gag implying a man has had sex with a playing card. My web series Sam and Pat features escalating and absurdist visual gags set against two characters being mean to each other and talking about therapists. My web series Brains is a narrative vlog from the perspective of a narcissistic sociopathic YouTuber trying to get a boyfriend post zombie apocalypse.

The worry about the weird comes not from a worry that the things I make aren’t good. I think they’re quite good- I’ve even got some awards to prove it!

The worry comes more from the fact that it’s very hard to succinctly explain these projects and their value to people more successful than me. “Oh, you make films too? What are they about?” “You better sit down for this.”

Other times, I am delighted by the weirdness, because it sets me apart and is true to my voice, which is also very weird. And honestly, every time I’ve tried to write something earnest and straightforward it’s sucked. Weird used to be an insult, but now it’s literally my brand.

So anyways, please help me make the second season of my weird web series Sam and Pat Are Depressed by keeping an eye out for our upcoming Season 2 Seed&Spark campaign! You can get a head start by following me on Seed&Spark OR by signing up for our newsletter!

As a reminder of how weird season 1 was, below is a series of photo prints featured in episode 8.

I’m tired, y’all. Absolutely wiped. This blog was gonna be about something else but then I sat down to write and damn near fell asleep in this Starbucks.  Continue reading “I’m tired of the hustle” →

About a month ago, Quinn and I were having dinner with a friend who was discussing a personal situation that had gone sour fast. He was explaining the story and the various causes for the souring, including the personalities and quirks of each person, and gestured to me saying “you know what I mean, Bri. You also don’t have a lot of empathy.”

Continue reading “Relearning (Or Not) Outward Displays of Empathy” →

That’s right, long time readers, it’s a SEAN STORY! 

I know I’ve talked about this before. The day I revealed this tale, with a deep shame, to my parents was also the day I talked about it on my old collab channel TheseFolk. But I’ve never really gone into detail about the dumbest single thing I’ve ever done, which is also incidentally one of my best stories. Continue reading “That time I secretly met up with a boy from the internet” →