Tonight, children, as I mentally prepare myself for the ACT tomorrow morning, I want to talk briefly about panic attacks. Have any of you ever had panic attacks? I have. My first panic attack was freshman year, I believe. I was in PE and all of the sudden I got really freaked out for no reason. I felt like my entire family had just been killed in a fire that destroyed my entire home. (Copyright infringement? Sorry Lemony Snicket) But seriously, it was crazy. I had trouble breathing so I just sat down in the corner, wrapped my arms around my legs, pulled my legs to my chest, and freaked out. Why did this happen? To be honest, I don’t know. It could have been that my friends had attacked -yes, literally attacked- me to try and get to my journal, which I had clutched to my chest all lunch period. I was a weird kid, ok? Anyways. Four vicious females jumped me at the same time to try and tear the personalized companion I never let leave my side. I don’t remember, but I think they might have wrestled it away from me once, but I got it back.
Anyways. It might have been that, or it might have been that I’m known to be stressed. All the time. And I’m one of those crazy artist types. Or, as Chris Hardwick puts it, “smarty-pants-creative types,”. I love Chris Hardwick. Gah. Sorry. Keep on track. So after that little incident, I was ok for about two months, before I had another panic attack over Christmas break. I was sitting at the desktop computer at night, which was right next to a very large window with no shade, and I was suddenly afraid that someone could see me right that minute and was planning on murdering me, or, God forbid, startle me by slamming their face into the glass creepily. (Is there a way not to do that creepily?) That wasn’t fun. Then I was panic-attack free, for the most part, until this year. Not only have I been emotionally overwhelmed, but the stress of school and debate is really wearing on my sanity. I’ve had at least three panic attacks since school started. I have managed to keep them at bay since Christmas break, but I’m worried they will come back. And of course, worrying makes panic attacks come faster. And knowing that correlation makes me worry more, which gives me more panic attacks. Sheesh.
But my hero Chris Hardwick, who is not only attractive and amazing and hillarious but also super intelligent, wrote an extensive, entertaining, and informative blog about getting rid of panic attacks. Even if you aren’t crazy like me, you’ll like it. So go. Now. Go read Chris Hardwick’s blog. You’ll thank me for it later.
