Tag: rant

Ah, shirts. People always mention how girls have so many shoes, but they don’t even consider shirts! Even as a relatively un-fashionable person, I have a variety of upper body coverings. But do they compliment my “form”? And what about jewelry and other such accessories? According to my strenuous and mind numbing research, there are a lot of things I need to consider and have on hand:

• Jackets that hit right below the natural waist or right past the hips
• Don’t get shirts that are too tight or too loose, but make sure they’re “fitted” (form fitting not tight)
• V-necks or wide necklines
• Vertical stripes (They make you seem thinner and taller)
• Long necklaces (apparently, this also makes you look taller)
  
• Thin fabrics (These are apparently thinning as well)
• Light colors (Especially with darker pants… it brings the eyes up)
• Shirts that are longer than where your jeans lay
• Giant rings (usually fake)
• Thick, bold colored braceletes
• Lots of jewelry of any kind to choose from

Whew. That’s a lot. So my total percentage is… 54%! I’m moving up in the world. For the record, I have none of the jewelry requirements. My numbers came from the shirt stuff. This probably comes from the fact that, like I mentioned before, I’m still growing out of my six year tomboy stage.

So what does jewelry do for us, anyways? Sure, some of it is kind of pretty, but unlike with makeup, it doesn’t really accentuate YOU. It just makes the outfit more interesting, which to me seems like a waste. But what’s even more of a waste is this new trend of thick, bright, large accessories like the picture below.



Ok, I’m sorry, but these are so ugly! I don’t generally like wrist and finger trinkets anyways, but come on. What is so “hip” about thick, gaudy, potruding jewelry? Basically, this is taking a giant hunk of cheap, brightly colored plastic and putting a hole in it big enough to stick our greedy hands into.



So then I ran my shirt wardrobe against all the tips and “fashion don’ts” to see how it held up. Not surprisingly, it was depleted to 57% of the original size. That’s 16 out of the 28 shirts in my closet that don’t fit our fashion standards!


    Why should I throw away more than half my closet to appease my more “fashion inclined” peers? Why should anyone feel pressured to throw away or not purchase at all the shirts that they think are cute just to fit in? Our society is so aesthetically concious that it’s becoming the only thing that matters. Here’s my theory: sure, appearence counts, but if someone chooses not to like me or hire me because of the clothes I wear in a casual setting, then it’s their loss.

Aren’t shoes supposed to me a girl’s best friend? Or second best friend to jewlrey at least. I’ve never really understood this; I have my Converse for most of the time, high heels (shudder) for formal things (rare), and tennis shoes for exercise. I know people who wear a different pair of shoes to school each day, and other people with four different types of tennis or basketball shoes. To me, this is ludicrous. Pick a pair of shoes that goes with everything and be done with it, right?

It’s a little different with pants. Shoes get muddy and dirty, but it’s easier to re-wear them. Pants, on the other hand, are better worn clean, unless you want to look “rugged”. But eh. I have four pairs of jeans and one pair of black pants (again, for formal stuff or just when I feel like it).

Because of my short, “pear” body shape, my research came up with these tips regarding pants and shoes.

 

• For jeans, wear boot cut or straight legged styles that fall below the natural waist
  
• For other kinds of pants, wear dark colors on bottom
• Wear a-line skirts that fall just below the knees
  
• Nothing too tight
• Wear heels, even with jeans
  
• Wear Converse with longer jeans (this is a teen tip)
• Have a pair of boots (No, not snow boots, it’s a new trend to wear “cute” boots over jeans, even in the summer. Crazy)
• Have sandals
• Have cute ballet flats (not actual ballet shoes, it’s another new trend of flat shoes)

 

For those of you who know me, you’re aware that I don’t wear skirts, and I had no idea what the heck “a-line” was until I looked it up. I own two skirts. I wear them… once a year, at most. I’m trying to get better, but it’s very hard to grow out of being a tomboy. You should also know that I do not wear any pants that are in the least bit tight. Ugh. Hate that. I also hate high heels, find boots to make my feet sweaty, and think my toes are gross so I limit sandal wearing. I’m a Cons gal.

That would make my shoes and jeans percentage… 44%. Better than my closet staples percentage, worse than my makeup score. But the only reason is because I own like four pairs of shoes, and I only wear one of them regularly. So is it worth me spending more money to raise my “fashion percentage”?

Like I said, I DO have high heels (pictured above). But am I going to wear them casually during a regular day? HECKS NO! Some people may like them, but I think they’r e so uncomfortable, and kind of odd looking with jeans. But what do I know, right? I am also not going to invest in boots that cost seventy friggin bucks like the ones to the right, because A. it’s almost summer and sweaty feet are not attractive and B. they’re useless and kind of ugly

The same goes for sandals. Can you run away easily in sandals? Noo. Converse may not have the greatest arch support, but if someone threatens me or someone is annoying me, I want to be able to run away without worrying that my shoes will fall off in the process, especially when they cost a ton of money like the suckers I’ve mentioned.

 

Look at these beautiful Converse. Simple, they go with anything (I’ve seen girls at movie premieres wearing them with dresses and other fancy outfits, which makes me so unbelievably happy), and only 45 bucks. You can only wear boots or sandals or heels in certain situations, so why have ALL of them in your foot locker when you can just have one universal pair of Covnerse with anything?

Sorry, it’s starting to sound like I’m advertising for them. But my point is this; sure, heels make you look taller and thinner, but is it worth the pain and uncomfort? Personally, I don’t think so. I’d choose comfort and versatility over fashion any day.

 

So far, I’m not doing so well for today’s standards. Tune in tomorrow to see how I do in the shirts and accessories department!

According to my research, there are several things teenage girls must have in their closets. Here is the list:

• White Oxford shirt
• Solid colored short sleeved tees and tanks
• Khaki trousers and shorts
• Well-fitted denim jacket
• At least two pairs of perfect jeans (I’m not sure what exactly they imply by “perfect”)
• Lots of belts in different styles and colors
• Double-breasted trench coat
• Little black dress
• Giant purse

Out of the nine staples listed, I have two. The variety of tanks I have is shown in the picture at top. I actually only have the tank part, I have maybe three solid colored fitted tee-shirts (when I say fitted, I mean they aren’t unisex). So according to the numbers, I am 16% fashion savvy, using only this example as a benchmark.

So I can understand how an oxford shirt, khaki pants, a couple good belts in different styles (I have black and brown belts, that’s it), and maybe even the denim jacket can come in handy. But a trench coat, a giant purse, and a little black dress? Maybe they’re nice to have, but does ANYONE want to spend money just to have them on hand? And these are only maybe half of the list of things I MUST HAVE, but I chose to address the other things later.



But that’s just for clothes. As for makeup, these are the things I should have in my drawers:

• Eye liner
• Eye shadow
• Eyelash curler
• Mascara
• Tweezers
• Brow liner (What even IS this??)
• Liquid eye liner
• Lip liner
• Lip gloss
• Foundation

So out of the ten things listed, I have five, so I’m 50% savvy in this department. Improvement, or a sad indication of how The Industry is getting to me? If your really think about it, why should I have ANY of this crap? I mean, yeah, I look a lot better with it, in my own opinion at least, but is it really worth it to have to buy it over and over again? Why do I need two kinds of eyeliner, thousands of colors of eye shadow, an eyelash curler, and a thousand different things to outline my lips?? Why does anyone need this? Especially in regular life.

But does all this mean I’m going to throw all my fashion products away? Unfortunately, no. I’m too vain and self conscious to, because something inside my head is telling me I HAVE to wear makeup to look good enough, I HAVE to straighten my hair to be accepted, and I HAVE to buy clothes that other people think are cute to I fit in with the people I despise.

 


       I do not know the first thing about fashion. (See confused expression and hand gestures in picture above) But the rest of the world seems to, so now I’m going to take them up on their tips, see if they really work. So here is “Everyday Bri”:

What I am:

What they want:

  

This is the general outfit I wear around; bootcut jeans, tee-shirt (polos often too), and [not shown] my grey Converse sneakers.I am what they call “pear shaped”. Surprisingly, every website I visited used this same “nickname” for people shaped like me. And when I say shaped like me, I mean heavy on the hips. From this flattering picture above, there is no denying that I have some extra heft to my hips, so don’t try to say anything against me. There is nothing wrong with pears. I like pears.

I’m dividing this series into four categories;

1. Evalutations according to teen trends and closet staples

2. Pants and shoes expo

3. Shirts and accessories

4. General/ overall evaluation

And here is some background info you’ll need to know before hand:

• I am a sixteen year old female
• I am 5 foot 3 inches and I am not telling you my weight (It’s all in the hips, I swear!)
• I have very thick, curly brown hair
• I am “pear shaped”
• I do not like spending a lot of money on clothes
• I have a very limited wardrobe

Lets see how I hold up against the fashion trends and standards modern society wants me to fit!