Posted in Issues

The Pasta Theory

Recently (ok, today), I’ve noticed something. Something strange. Something ground breaking. Something…. well, you get the picture. And here it is:

I have found a direct correlation between God vs No God arguments and pasta preference.

Yes folks, I sure have. I know you’re all probably shaking your heads right now, but hear me out, ok?

Here is our typical religious argument:

Random Arguer 1: “I believe that there is no God.”

Random Arguer 2: “You’re so wrong, there is too a God. How dare you insult my religion?”

Now, let’s replace the bold faced statements:

Random Arguer 1: “I believe that bowtie pasta is the best.”

Random Arguer 2: “You’re so wrong, linguine is the best. How dare you insult my taste in pasta?”

Uncanny, isn’t it? But keep listening. It all comes down to this: It is an OPINION. Here’s the truth; you cannot prove or disprove God, just like you cannot prove or disprove that linguine pasta is the best, because it’s a matter of opinion. Let’s look at another correlation:

You are Christian, and your friend is an Atheist. So you take your friend to church every Sunday, you read them passages from the Bible, and you attack them at every chance you can with religious quotes and wisdom. There are two outcomes to this: either your friend decides that he wants to convert to Christianity, or they decide to stay being an Atheist and get extremely annoyed.

Let’s change this to pasta again.

You love linguine, and your friend loves bowtie pasta. So every time you go out, you order them linguine, you talk about it all the time, and you list the ways linguine could enhance their lives. There are two outcomes to this: either your friend decides that they like linguine as well and agrees that is is the best pasta, or they decide that they still like bowtie pasta better and get extremely annoyed.

Here’s the moral of this story. Well, actually there are two.

MORAL 1: Atheists and Religious People: STOP ARGUING OVER THE EXISTENCE TO GOD. Neither one of you is going to come out on top, because it is a matter of opinion. I know you’re all going to be mad at me, but listen; an opinion is something that can not be proved and is a personal belief. A FACT is something that can be proved and verified. Both atheism and religion are OPINIONS. So again, stop arguing. It’s like arguing over what pasta is better.

MORAL 2: There are plenty of things theists and non-theists argue about; the validity and interpretation of the Bible, religious and non religious propaganda, and a variety of issues like gay marriage and abortion. But because the base of their arguments is their personal opinion, it all boils down to: Does God exist or not? And again, that can not be proved or disproved, therefore basing arguments off of it doesn’t make any sense. So stop using religion to back up an objective argument, and stop using the basis of non-religion to back up an objective argument. Just… stop….arguing. It’s going to get us no where.

*BONUS* MORAL 3: Bow Tie Pasta is totally better.

What's up, my dudes?

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