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Why I Don’t Believe in “True Love”

The short of it is, true love doesn’t make logical sense. The long of it essentially boils down to the fact that not only does the idea of true love not make logical sense, it’s also kind of a crappy state of mind. Why? By all means, let’s explore.

First, the short of it. Logic: reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity. So let’s think about this for a second. True Love, or TL as I’ll refer to it henceforth, assumes that there is only one person in the entire universe who you will ever be happy with. That means that out of all 6 billion people on the planet and out of all other undiscovered sentient life in the vast unendingness that is the universe, only 1 person or… alien thing… will ever make you truly happy.

Really? Out of six billion people, if we want to keep the idea somewhat localized, only one of them will ever make you happy. Let’s do a little thinking exercise to look at this more clearly. Out of all the people who are currently married, just in the US how many of them do you think believe their spouse is “The One”? A lot, probably. And how many of those people are married to another US citizen? A lot, again. That’s awfully lucky. Out of six billion people on the planet, the person they were always meant to be with was born in the same country as them and somehow crosses their path.

Before I give my explanation of love, let’s look a the long of it for a moment. Why I think TL is a crappy state of mind.

First, that’s an awful lot of pressure, not only for you, but for the person you believe is your TL. That means that you’re so focused on this idea that they are the only person who will ever complete you, you immediately close your mind to all other people. You force yourself to be happy with your perceived TL, even if maybe you aren’t.

Why this is an awful lot of pressure on your “TL” is because they now have an expectation to be absolutely perfect for you. And if they’re not, they are in danger of getting the boot because they haven’t lived up to said expectations.

Second, though, and most importantly, believing in TL sets a precedent that you’re probably never, ever going to be happy. Because there is such a vast world out there, not to mention universe, and believing only one entity out there will make you totally happy is really difficult to live up to. With every failed relationship you believe you’re one step closer to finding “The One”. Four down, 6,697,254,041 to go.

So we’ve got the short of it, and we’ve got the long of it. Now what’s my take?

Love isn’t as specific as people seem to think it is. The idea of love itself is so vague that believing it can only apply to one person in a romantic sense is silly. I believe that not only can you love more than one person romantically at a time (Bella, anyone?*) but you also have multiple people in life whom you could potentially be equally happy with. Its just a matter of which one you meet first under which circumstances.

Limiting yourself to one potential life partner sucks. What happens to the people who are dumped or divorced, who truly believed that the person who dumped or divorced them was their true love? Are the SOL? No, I don’t think so. I feel for them, absolutely, because maybe whoever they were with was one of those possible matches. But the thing they have to recognize is that there is always someone else. Whether you find it or not is up to your openness- and your luck.

Never think that it’s the end of anything. Breaking up sucks no matter what side of it you’re on. But there’s always someone, or something, else. Screw true love. Love, period.

*I’m so sorry.

What's up, my dudes?