Dear Jenn,
Hello. We are going to live together for a year. You’re from Hawaii, I’m from Colorado. And our lives are converging in Oregon. So I thought I would write you a letter giving you a little insight on what you’ve got to expect from me next year. Because a year is a really long time.
1. I’m very unmotivated when it comes to having to move. I love sports and competition, but working out? Ew. I read on your Facebook that you’re really competitive as well, which is a good sign. If you ever feel like playing a sport (intramural, of course) or working out, please, please, drag me along. I will whine and complain, but I need it. I’m getting squishy.
2. I have three best friends, which you can read about here, here, and here. Other than them and maybe four other people, I have a really hard time connecting with other people, especially girls. I find it difficult to socialize, I’m kind of shy and awkward when I don’t know anyone, and a lot of the time I’d rather hide in my room and read Harry Potter again than go out and chill with people. I’m trying to change this, but I thought you should know. It’s not that I’m unfriendly, it’s just that I’m awfully unprepared for socializing.
3. I hate tea. I’ve tried to like it, because it’s more “sophisticated” than coffee, but I just can’t drink it. It tastes like bitter water to me.
4. I’m kind of moody. I can be really happy one minute and really angry in the next. Maybe a better word would be “emotional”. I was bullied as a kid, and even through the rest of my public school years, so as much as I like to pretend I don’t let things get to me, I’m kind of fragile. The bullying, mixed in with some unfortunate genetics, has led to my being kind of angry a lot. I’m not a very positive person, though I am getting better, and that annoys a lot of people. I’m a sarcastic cynic. Hopefully, getting away from my current town and the people I’ve known since I was five will help with this, but I can’t promise anything.
5. Speaking of sarcasm, it’s pretty much the only way I communicate. Sometimes I’ll have an entire conversation with someone and never give one serious answer. My sarcasm filter sometimes stops working so if you ask me a question I perceive as obvious, I’ll answer it sarcastically. Please understand, I don’t do it to be mean or female-dog-ish. It’s just my own charming way of communicating. I promise to try and tone it down, but just as a heads up, it’s gonna be difficult.
6. Country music is one genre that I can not stand. I mean, I don’t like rap or heavy metal either, but they don’t grate my ears. They’re just annoying. So… if at all possible, please don’t blast Kenny Chesney in our room. Or at least, don’t do it all the time. If you have a band/genre of music you hate the same way, let me know, and I’ll refrain from playing them outside of my headphones.
7. This one is just a question. Do you have a mini fridge? Because I’m bringing a mini crockpot and an electric water kettle thing to make hot water (obviously) so we can have hot chocolate or oatmeal or those Starbucks VIA packets or whatever. Or tea, if you’re into that. We could go halfsies on the fridge if you don’t already have one, and then fight out who takes it home at the end of the year. Because I think a fridge would be a good investment.
8. I’m sort of a vegetarian, but not really. I will eat chicken, and maybe I’ll even start trying a half a hamburger again or something. But for the most part, I don’t eat red meat. I also don’t like turkey very much. Just FYI. Because you totally needed to know that.
9. I hate seafood almost more than tea. Shrimp is OK sometimes, but fish? Sushi? No thanks. But I do like Thai food, and I think there’s a Thai restaurant right off campus.
10. I’m very easily distracted, but I’m also kind of insane when I’m working on something. My website is kind of a big deal for me, even though in its four years of existence its never gotten more than 200 or so views a day, on a GOOD day. So when I’m blogging, which I do kind of a lot (I know. It’s like I never outgrew MySpace bulletins. I’m so sorry), I get a little short tempered at interruptions. This behavior may also be present if I’m working on a novel or doing homework that’s due soon that I procrastinated on. I apologize in advance.
11. I’m a little too excited for the first half of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows movie. Will you go with me in November if it comes out before Thanksgiving break?
12. I’m very forgetful. You could ask me to do something for you and five minutes later I will probably forget. So if you need me to do something that’s really important, make me have eye contact with you and repeat the message several times. If it’s super important, make me write it down somewhere that I will find it, or put it as an alert on my phone.
13. I’m unhealthily obsessed with YouTube. There are a lot of people that I watch religiously, so I can sometimes spend hours on my laptop watching their videos. Maybe if you could throw something at me when it’s clear I’m not being productive, that would work to make me do things.
14. I get excited about really good sandwiches, and I may talk about them a lot.
15. My feet always smell kind of bad, even when I wash them compulsively. I’m sorry. I’ll wear socks.
16. I require tough love. I’m very stubborn and have some self destructive habits. Sometimes you need to shake me to make me stop being stupid. I may not be happy at first, but I’ll thank you for it later. Also, I tease people, and I will probably tease you. The best way to counter me is to tease me back. Fight back.
17. Please don’t bring boys to fornicate with to the room. Not that I think you’re going to do this, but I want this in writing just in case.
18. While I also hate when people talk during movies, sometimes I can’t help but make comments. Because again, I’m really sarcastic, and when I find something to be stupid or silly, I will remark on it. I will attempt to reign myself in. (it’s really bad that most of these things I want you to know end with “but I’ll try to change”. I feel like this is a warning rather than a get to know you letter. I’m so sorry.)
19. I’m kind of OCD when it comes to lists and formatting. I like things to be uniform and matching, like if I have several lists with levels, I want all those levels to be the same. Example:
1.
a.
i.
ii.
b.
2.
And if not all of the lists look like this I get antsy.
And as for other kinds of lists, I could have stopped at 18, but I like rounding it out to 20, so it seems more complete.
20. I laugh at perverted and sometimes sexist jokes, even though a lot of times they’re kind of awful. Take this one (I laugh every time and I hate myself for it)
A pedophile and a little girl walk into the woods. The little girl says to the pedophile, “these woods are scary. It’s really dark out there” and the pedophile replied “yeah, well you’re not the one who has to walk back alone”
I hope this list has been informative and helpful and not completely terrifying. If you’d like to write a letter back, that would be cool. But you don’t have to. You probably don’t have as much time on your hands as I do.
Love,
Bri, your new roommate
This is one of your best recent blogs. Very entertaining!