I’m so sorry. I just hung my head in shame at Borders for that title. But the title “Hair” just didn’t seem like enough. If you have a better, less pathetic attempt at a hair pun, please, tell me.
I’ve been thinking about writing this blog for a while now, actually. When I was in France my mom and I were talking about how my hair was all up in my face, and I jokingly mentioned how it makes me feel like an artist to have long, unruly hair to brush out of my way. But then I kept thinking and realized that it was kind of true.
Not the artist part, really. I mean, kind of, but I don’t think I can adequately label myself as an “artist”. Whatever. NOT IMPORTANT BRI MOVE ON.
I’ve spent most of my life hating this mass of dead skin cells on top of my head. I’ve cut it short, grown out the layers, gone with and without bangs, straightened it to the point of torture, and used more products than I can be bothered to remember, let alone count. The first question people always ask me is the same. “Is your hair naturally curly?”
“Yes.” I reply darkly. “Unfortunately.”
“You’re so lucky! I wish my hair looked like that!”
Liar. No, you don’t. See, my argument was always that you never know what you’ll wake up to when you have naturally curly hair. And that’s true. Sometimes, it looks fairly nice, with a consistent pattern of waves and curls. But most times, one side is flat and frizzy while the other side looks like the Devil’s Snare, and there’s just nothing you can do about it.
But people have spent all the time I used up hating my hair envying or loving it. Sean and Morgan both met me when my hair was especially big and unruly, and they loved me for it. Last year, for Sean’s birthday/Harry Potter party we had at my house, he told me that his birthday wish from me was for me to make my hair as big as I could get it, like it used to be. He misses the quiet, weird, awkward 7th grade Bri with the monstrous mass of curls. I don’t.
Now, however, I realize something. While there are a lot of annoying things that come with having hair like I do, I’m happy with it. I can honestly say that I’ve come to love my hair. It’s what sets me apart. When people look at me, it’s the first thing they notice. It’s the first thing they comment on. It’s my defining feature, and it’s a little regrettable that I’ve spent so much time hating and trying to change it.
And furthermore, the subject of my hair brings up deeper problems with the way I’ve been living my life. I try to hide what makes me unique because it isn’t “normal” or “socially acceptable”. I’ve stopped trusting people, learned to dress in an uninspiring way, and all but ceased to smile honestly in public.
That’s not OK. I shouldn’t have to, or want to, hide myself. Accepting my hair is just one step in learning to love myself. I’ve got a long ways to go, but for once, I have hope. I believe in myself and my ability to rally. If I can stand up for my hair, what’s to stop me from standing up for myself?
I do believe you’re the only person I know besides me with hair that like, I just haven’t gotten to the loving it stage. How do you keep it from getting half frizz and half tangle? Mine always ends up with these kinky little curls surrounded by gobs of frizzy, uncurly hair. aiofndiofh
By the way, your hair definitely looks awesome, and anyone who tells you otherwise can go suck it.
I will miss you next year, Hailey. I’m actually doing a blog on how to maintain curly hair next week… On Tuesday the 27th. So… more than a week from now. BUT IT IS COMING!
Quick tips, though, is wet it a little in the morning and find a good “curl management” goop. Hair wetness is always good. It restores your curls naturally. I use High Fructis Curl Definition Gel (I think that’s what it’s called. It’s green and shaped like an upside down triangle. Sort of. I’ll have pictures in the blog)
You can label yourself as an artist because what you produce is art. It is just a different type of art than most people are used to.