I would first like to thank Dorenka for bringing up my alleged narcissism. You really opened a can of worms with THAT.
Moving on, let’s delve into this. I started this website the second semester of my 8th grade year. It was the extension of my first website that was basically a page off of my dad’s website, which I called Bri’s Place. You know why I called it that? Because it was the very first place I could talk about whatever the heck I wanted, and I could be as strange or as serious or as funny as I wanted to. BrisPlace.com was already taken, so I named my website after a song I’d penned, entitled “My Own World”. Note: Middle School was the most depressing three years of my life. I hated it. It was terrible. My self esteem had hit rock bottom. You have no idea.
So I started the website as a regular blog, somewhere to post short stories, poems, little essays I wrote, and lyrics. It was my world, after all. Then I started feeling empowered by the internet’s anonymity. So I thought, why not enjoy myself a little? I then proceeded to create an alter ego, Vannah. She was outgoing, strong minded, and slightly narcissistic. For a while, I actually convinced people that she was her own, separate entity. But that’s not really important. What’s important was that I finally had an outlet for myself; for the first time, I didn’t have to worry about what other people thought, and I didn’t have to worry about everyone else’s problems. I figured, after all the crap I’d gone through in middle school, I deserved to be a little narcissistic.
After a while, Vannah morphed into Bri and I became much more confident. Obviously, most of the ‘narcissism’ is sarcasm, because it’s fun to act like a total self centered jerk sometimes and not mean it at all. If helped me gain confidence, and enabled me to begin making more and better friends. It was a stepping stone.
But like I said, it was all a joke. I still have self esteem issues. I still doubt myself and my abilities to function in real life. So I think that I’m entitled to be sarcastically self centered on my own website, thanks very much.
Oh, and for the record, Twitter was just a whim that I really enjoy. It’s like posting mini blogs instead of gunking up the actual website. And I can update from anywhere. I’m obsessed, and not because I want everyone to know what I’m doing EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY because I’m a narcissist. No, I just like it a lot.
And honestly, anyone who takes my narcissism on this website seriously and personally, grow the heck up and learn how to detect sarcasm. It’s a neat little device.
