So I think Pep Assemblies are the closest thing on earth to hell.
I was ok with them being banned. I really was. I see no good reason why we should all be forced into a large, crowded, hot old gym and be forced to make fools of ourselves.
This particular pep assembly featured a dance-off between juniors and seniors. First of all, this is asking for trouble. Teenagers are terrible dancers! I was prepared to plug my ears and shut my eyes and maybe think about Jason Mraz, since it helps Bri so much.
The six juniors who participated surprised me by actually choreographing something that didn’t feature anything you might see at a typical school dance. It was a little awkward but compared to the horror that followed, they should’ve been on So You Think You Can Dance (not that that says much).
The seniors made me ashamed to be alive. There were about six boys, and, true to form, the shirts came off about fifteen seconds in. I stared in appalled horror as they proceeded to put on the worse display of “What Senior Boys Think About 24/7” that I’ve ever seen.
Really? Do I have to go to school with these people? Why am I forced to go watch their basketball games? They are apes wearing clothing (up to the waist, anyway).
Oh, and i should mention that the principal was gone during this. Which is a shame, because if he’d seen the senior dance, he might’ve banned pep assemblies.
THEN, before I could recover, they made us do a CHEER CONTEST!!!! Have you ever experienced being in a place so noisy that all the noise blends into silence? First of all, they pick the fastest and wordiest cheer in our school’s arsenal, so that you couldn’t tell what the heck they were saying. I didn’t bother cheering. Why should I, when there are so many other people wanting to act like idiots? They make up for my absence. The seniors won. They have to redeem themselves somehow, and i guess they can only do this by proving they can make the most noise.
Then they did another stupid contest that involved a lot of cheating, but who cares?
After all of this, I’m not even sure what we were supposed to be pepped about.
I’ll admit. I’m a cynical low-life. I’ve never participated in the cheer contest. I’ve never volunteered to stick my face in a pie. I’ve never danced to soulja boy crank that in front of hundreds of people. I am not a peppy person.
This is how I show pride in my school. I try to get good grades. I don’t get in fights. I don’t clog up the hallway. I don’t make too much noise or create disturbance. I don’t spill my drinks on the floor. I don’t write vulgar things in the bathroom. I don’t make fun of teachers. I don’t randomly pound my fist into a locker.
Pep Assemblies do not work for me. I can find my own way of fitting in at my school. Everyone else is free to yell and haze and mosh and run around with their shirts off if that’s what works for them, but I sort of find more fulfillment at least striving for maturity.
Sorry. I try, but I really just can’t stand teenagers sometimes.
